The Lonely Ballerina
by JM
Summary: Loneliness HATES company. But it got just that.Incomplete
1. Conversations

**__**

The Lonely Ballerina 

AN: Hi guys! This is my first attempt to write a CCS story, so please feel free to say what you thought about it. I'd really appreciate it. I was planning on getting all the chapters done before Christmas, but schoolwork was killing me, making it impossible for me to find much time to write the first chapter. The characters in this story are very OOC so pardon me. Anyway, hope you guys enjoy this. More AN at the end.

****

Disclaimer: CCS and its characters do not belong to me. I don't make money writing these, so please, don't sue.

~*

~ The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."~

- Footprints -

~*

Darkness. That's all that you'll see. Clouds of black that stretched far into the horizon. A sea of nothingness that no one dared cross, fearing that death is lurking around the unseen depth, clawing its way out. She did not share the same feelings, however. To her, this sea of black conceals her true self. The side of her that she's afraid to show. The her that she tries hard to disguise. She doesn't need anybody's concern, after all, because they're simply prying into her business really, pretending to be worried about her condition, when all the while they're just trying to break the wall that she'd built around her. She's no fool, nor a naïve little girl to see what they're trying to accomplish, for their attempts to make her open up were fairly obvious even to humans who do not possess magical powers such as she. She would admit though that their futile endeavors were rather amusing at times and often find herself stifling a snicker despite of herself.

She'd always loved the darkness, especially after the times she would share her best friend's position, which is under a blinding light that irritates her sensitive nature. She just loved sitting inside that wall she had built, surrounded by nothingness, and the mere fact that even the tiniest ray of light would not be able to penetrate her hideout made her quite proud of herself for attaining such an achievement. In her world of solitude, she can keep any inquisitive eyes from peeling her well-worn mask that hid all the things that she is. In her world, there was nothing to see except blackness and a tiny brick wall that cloak the true Daidouji Tomoyo.

~*

**__**

Chapter 1: Conversations

~*

She groaned as soft pillars of morning light hit her pale face, forcing her to wake up early in the morning. The bothersome alarm that she knew too well did not help improve her mood as she reluctantly left her slumber world and return back to reality after eight hours or so of pleasant unconsciousness.

" I hate Mondays," she grumbled as she slowly opened her sleepy eyes and slammed her hand on the alarm clock in attempt to silence the racket it was creating. With that accomplished, she let out a heavy sigh and closed her tired eyes once more, drowning back to the sea of soft blankets and bed sheets. 

She had been dreaming about her again, the same girl that had haunted her dreams every time she closed her eyes. These fantasies of hers is a very important part of her life, even the ones that she could vaguely remember due to the fact that the irritating alarm would almost always force her to rise before the dream had had its time to sink in her brain. This particular dream was just like the others. Vague, but somehow clear. She and the love of her life walking hand in hand. She, turning and facing her with that cute smile of hers. Those beautiful emerald eyes shinning like stars in the heavens. And then she would be swept away by a flash of green. And she'd find herself standing alone again. Alone.

The word struck her heart painfully and it took all her will power to resist the urge of bursting into tears. Her dreams would always end like that; the one she loved being the princess in a fairytale she so dearly wants to be a part of. The thought was preposterous, she was well aware, for the cast has been chosen and all but one place was taken; the spectator. A bitter laugh escaped her lips as the thought lingered in her mind, mocking her with its blatant meaning. She was just a spectator, watching as each scenes unfold before her eyes. Observing the dialogues that were being exchanged between the characters. Following the paths the characters chose with keen eyes. She was a part of the audience and not the fairytale. She never was.

In the end, she would stand up and applaud the cast for doing a fine job. She would give compliments and praise. And then she'd find the princess, walking home with her prince. But not her. Nor will it ever be.

This was not how she planned her day to begin, not at all. With heavy heart and eyes brimming with tears, this would prove to be the beginning of a miserable day. A loud rapping sound came from the oak door of her bedroom followed by the muffled voice of one of their maids. She groaned once more before opening her blueberry eyes and tediously got out of bed.

" I hate Mondays," she grumbled once again. 

~*

A gentle smile graced his friendly face as students passed him by the hall with enthusiastic morning greetings. He waved his hand to them to indicate he'd acknowledged their presence and continue on with his journey to his classroom. He received more pleasant greetings as he entered the room, by the students who've already arrived and were chatting cheerfully. He bowed to each of them as he approached his seat, which was located near the windows. 

With the soft smile still plastered on his face, he took his seat behind Tomoyo, who at the moment have her nose buried in a book and took no notice of him whatsoever. At this, his smile widened into a grin as he leaned forward in his seat.

" Ohayu gozaimasu Daidouji-san," he whispered to her ear. 

" Oh!" the girl gasped, startled. Clasping her chest, she turned around and came face to face with none other than Hiragizawa Eriol. 

" Hiragizawa-kun! You scared me!" 

She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. Eriol smiled.

" Good book?" he queried, eyeing the precious book the girl had been so enthralled with only moments ago to notice him come in.

" Yes, it is," answered the still flustered Tomoyo.

He just nodded. Words were no longer necessary, for their conversation has already ended. He knew that, and apparently, so did she for her back was facing him once again. It was always the same story with them. A sentence or two apiece and then it all ends. It was not what they'd call a conversation, or would anyone else for that matter, but who could blame them? With both of them being as quiet and secretive as they are, there's really not many things they could talk about that wouldn't touch a delicate matter to the other.

And even if he had preferred to continue their discussion instead of ending it so quickly like many others, he wouldn't have been able to for she had arrived.

" Ohayu gozaimasu minna!" a cheerful voice rang throughout the entire classroom. 

Tomoyo's head shot up from her book like a young child who have just heard about a candy sale at the corner. Eriol sensed eagerness from her, which quickly evaporated to yearning and sadness that caused one of his eyebrows to rise slightly, as another person entered the room just before the bell rang. Li Syaoran and Kinomoto Sakura have arrived.

" Konnichiwa Tomoyo-chan, Eriol-kun," Sakura nodded at them both.

" Ohayu Sakura-chan," Tomoyo greeted just as cheerfully, with Syaoron just behind her wearing the usual scowl on his face.

Eriol merely nodded as he gave Sakura and Syaoran a warm smile as they took their seat. Then the bell rang and no more was said.

~*

" Your reports are due next week Thursday before winter break," Mr. Yamaguchi reminded them once more as the kids started gathering their belongings and getting up from their seats to go to lunch.

The hallway was loud, with students struggling to get to their destination. Sakura and Syaoran headed to the direction of the library as soon as they got out of the room, apologizing to Tomoyo and Eriol for not being able to accompany them to lunch since they have to finish their reports. Both accepted their excuse and headed for the lunchroom together. 

The cafeteria was packed, and it took them a couple of minutes to find an empty table. Eriol glanced at Tomoyo as they sat down on either side of the table and started eating in silence. Eriol cleared his throat now and then as he chewed on his food. Nothing was said between the two and only the enthusiastic chatter in the crammed lunchroom could be heard. Being the reincarnated self of a once powerful sorcerer has taught him to have patience, but with Tomoyo, it wasn't always as easy. She could just sit there and not say a word for hours, and it irritates him somewhat for he itch to have a conversation with her where they would exchange more than a mere sentence. They are friends, after all, she'd confirmed that years ago, but still there is always this invisible wall sitting between the two that prevents them from having a decent communication. He tried so many times and failed miserably to eliminate the nuisance, and after so many futile attempts his hopes of ever banishing the immobile barrier had finally faltered.

" So," he finally said, in an attempt to start a conversation, " what are you going to do this Christmas?"

She shrugged, not looking at him directly. 

" I don't know."

" I heard Sakura and Syaoran are leaving for Hong Kong."

She was silent, nibbling at her sandwich. Eriol had touched a very delicate subject, which he was aware of, but tried to ignore his fatal mistake as he watched Tomoyo intently, waiting for her answer. 

" Yes, they are," she finally said and forced a smile as she momentarily stopped eating.

" Well, aren't you going with them?"

She shook her head.

" I'd just be a bother to them if I did."

Then she resumed with her lunch without another word. 

Three sentences. Well, that's an improvement, Eriol thought sarcastically.

But it wasn't enough. It's never enough. To Eriol, Daidouji Tomoyo is like an open book, accessible to anyone who would bother to read it. But she was a mystery as well, and it aggravates him to know there was something that his magic cannot unveil. He had been trying to understand her real feelings between each line, and everyday his efforts proved to be in vain. She was a mystery, like the ancient writings of the past, and no one can decipher what she meant. 

" Are you afraid of me?" he asked before he can even stop and think about it.

" What?" she replied, taken aback by his question. " Why would I be afraid of you?"

" I don't know, you tell me," he answered seriously, looking her straight in the eyes.

She laughed nervously as she shifted uncomfortably in her chair.

" We've known each other for a while, Hiragizawa-kun. You know very well that there is nothing about you that would scare me."

He nodded and it made her feel more apprehensive. He couldn't have known, could he? 

Three years of being in Tomoeda after his painful breakup with their former Math teacher Mizuki Kaho, did not change his personality or his sneakiness, that she knew, and she didn't doubt the possibilities of his knowledge about her feelings either. Like her, he is not naïve or blind, and the sudden thought made her feel more uneasy as his azure eyes seemed to be stripping her mask off. She fought the flush that ran up to her pale face. Tomoyo never blush, whether it be because of humiliation or anger, and she was not about to let Hiragizawa Eriol have the pleasure of being the first one to make her color.

Tomoyo felt someone's hand on her shoulder and realized that she had zoned out. Eriol was shaking her, a concerned look etched on his handsome face. 

" Daidouji-san?"

" Yes?" she heard herself reply.

" Are you ok?"

Tomoyo blinked, staring at him uncomprehendingly. 

" Huh?" she said stupidly.

" I said, are you feeling alright?"

" Oh!" she cried, feeling herself flush again but tried once more to repress the blush from reaching her face. " Yes, I'm very well."

He just nodded and continued with his lunch.

" Why do you do that?" she asked, hostility flaring up inside her as she tried to control her temper.

" Do what?" he asked innocently, looking at her now.

" That nodding. It's very disturbing, you know, and it's not very polite either."

" You find my nodding disturbing and impolite, Daidouji-san?"

Eriol's lips turned upward into a lazy smile and it took all of Tomoyo's self-control to resist the urge of standing up and slap him hard on the face. But that would be very savage not to mention humiliating, not only for Eriol but to her as well.

" Please," he continued as he gave a little wave with his hand when she remained silent, " enlighten me."

" Never mind," she sighed, trying to cloak the irritation in her voice as she started to clean up her side of the table.

" Oh, come now," Eriol laughed lightly. " You can't leave me hanging here."

Tomoyo flashed him a feigned smile, which he knew too well to be forced, and gave one of his own. Eriol struggled to stifle the snigger that rise up to his throat when he saw Tomoyo's smile slightly falter and anxiousness flickered on her beautiful porcelain face like a Christmas light. No matter how good an actress Tomoyo may be, she can never defeat the master of disguise himself. True, they're very good at concealing their true selves from people, but both performers can tell when the other has started the game yet again, and are well aware that only one of them can be the master of this ridiculous competition, and that was Eriol.

" You need more practice Daidouji-san."

Tomoyo rise from her chair, pretending not to be affected by Eriol's comment and gave a short bow to her companion before scurrying out of the cafeteria. He quickly stood from his seat and walked alongside the dark haired girl who seemed to be trying to get as far away from him as possible.

" Whatever do you mean Hiragizawa-kun?" she lied as she continued her not-so-surreptitious desire to put as much distance between her and the handsome dark haired boy beside her.

Of course she knew perfectly well what he meant by that remark, but instead of feeling angry with herself for being too transparent, she only felt nervous. This was Eriol after all, and one little slipup in front of him will more or less turn into a big mess she tries so hard to avoid. 

Eriol didn't answer for a moment and when he did, that annoying cheerful voice of his rang in her ear like a high pitched trumpet being played by an amateur.

" It's nothing."

She merely nodded as they entered their next classroom; Japanese. It was very unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on one's view) for Tomoyo that she was stuck with the mysterious and manipulative Eriol in every class. It wasn't because she and him aren't friends because they are, although not as close, but lately Eriol had been acting weirder than usual. He would still crack a joke or two, watch you with those keen eyes when he thinks you weren't looking, and would still retort witty know-it-all remarks- this have become some sort of a hobby to him- that never cease to upset his cute descendant, Li Syaoron. In the past couple of weeks that have passed however, Tomoyo had been keeping a more closer eye to him and everyday, she'd find more surprises. 

For one thing, he have been finding entertainment in seeing people jump out of their skin when he suddenly pop out of nowhere. Of course he does have the tendencies to scare people, mainly her, Sakura, and Syaoron back in the days, but she doesn't see any necessity of him frightening people out of their wits any longer. Sakura had passed his last test eight years ago and have defended her right to be the mistress of the cards, after all, and one must wonder what is the use of him bursting with the unexpected, be it magic or not. Tomoyo thought that it was perhaps the result of his break-up with Mizuki-sensei, but she had quickly crushed the idea from her head as quickly as it seeped in her mind. It was an absurd theory, not to mention a foul assumption from her part, for she have no clue whatsoever what had caused the break-up in the first place. So Tomoyo, being the polite maiden that she is, did not dare asked what was causing this queer behavior. Besides, that whole event happened three years ago when Eriol was merely a fifteen-year-old boy, and the plausibility of that affecting him now is most likely a million to one, for it was evident that he have handled himself pretty good for the past few years. In fact, he didn't seem at all saddened that the woman he had spent the last five years with suddenly ended their relationship. Tomoyo did know that it was just a façade, she knew it by the look of yearning in his azure eyes, but didn't bother to scrutinize more on the matter thinking that it'll all pass. Now, she wished she had.

They entered the empty classroom and sat at their table where Sakura and Syaoron will be joining them later. Tomoyo glanced at the wall-clock that hung just above the doorframe and sighed. Twenty more minutes till the bell rings. Finding nothing better to do, she pulled out the book she was reading that morning and was once again brought back to her own little world where nobody but her exist.

Eriol looked at her for a few seconds with a faint smile on his face and tried to do something constructive as well. Mrs. Chiba, their Japanese instructor, strode in the classroom and gave Eriol a warm smile who returned it with his friendly grin (Tomoyo was too engrossed with the book to notice their teacher). 

" Eriol, could you and Ms. Daidouji do me a small favor?" the teacher asked. 

Tomoyo pried herself from the reading material she had in her hands at the mention of her name.

" Of course sensei," Eriol answered and glanced at Tomoyo who nodded as well. 

" Could you possibly bring these boxes to Ms. Motomiya in room 17?" she asked, pointing at the two medium-sized boxes at the foot of her desk.

" Hai," they nodded, each picking up a box and headed out the classroom.

Tomoyo struggled to keep the box in her hands balanced as she tried to keep up with Eriol's long, elegant strides. Eriol looked back as he realized she's too far behind him and couldn't help the silly grin that spread across his face at the sight of a stumbling Tomoyo as he stopped in his tracks. Who've thought that the almighty Daidouji Tomoyo, with her posture always firm and strong, could portray a helpless girl floundering with her hands loaded with a heavy burden. It was just too much!

" I hardly think it's funny to see someone- ugh- struggle Hiragizawa-kun. I would've thought a gentleman such as yourself would've had more sense than to laugh at a situation like such!" she gasped.

Even with her unstable stance she was able to manage pull out some clever retort which caused Eriol to finally burst into helpless chuckles he had been holding.

" I apologize. Would the lady wish to exchange burdens?" he asked, mirth still evident in his eyes as chuckles came out from his lips.

Tomoyo nodded and gently placed her heavy load down on the floor. Taking a deep breath, she pushed some sweaty bangs from her face, which returned to their normal position anyway, and turned to her friend who still has that silly grin on his face.

" Careful now," he teased as he carefully positioned the box he was carrying in her awaiting arms and picked up the one she had discarded on the floor, with ease.

" No wonder you didn't have as much trouble as I did," she said accusingly. "This box is as light as a feather!" 

" You wound me with your exaggeration Daidouji-san," he joked, a look of hurt on his face. " Besides, it wasn't my fault you picked the heavier one."

She glared at him and stomped off, leaving an amused Eriol at her wake.

" Maybe, I should tease you more often Daidouji-san," Eriol whispered to himself with a grin on his face as he followed Tomoyo.

They reached their destination and found Ms. Motomiya, a thin, dark haired woman in her late twenties with a rather squeaky voice, shouting over the prattle of students for attention.

" What is this?" she queried as she walked over to them by the door.

" This is from Mrs. Chiba," Eriol replied.

" Oh yes. Well, could you please just put it over there?" Ms. Motomiya said, pointing towards her desk.

The room quieted as they entered. Twenty pairs or so of every-colored eyes turned toward their direction, Tomoyo attracting the attention of the male population in the class while Eriol was practically stripped naked by those of the opposite sex. Tomoyo suddenly felt self-conscious as they positioned the box beside the front desk and glanced over at Eriol to see if he was going through the same dilemma. As always, she found no trace of embarrassment on his handsome face, and wondered unconsciously how long he could keep up with his 'I'm-not-at-all-embarrassed' charade.

They turned to leave, Tomoyo receiving a few 'goodbye whistles' from her admirers- Eriol getting disappointed sighs- as Ms. Motomiya thanked them.

" Lots of adorers, I see," teased the smiling Eriol when they had reached the empty hallway.

" You've got a handful yourself," Tomoyo retorted, still slightly unnerved by the incident and mindlessly tugged the end of her mini skirt uniform, the action not passing Eriol's eyes.

He smiled, and so did she, although hers was uncertain. They walked the rest of the way back in a comfortable silence. They reached their room only to find it empty once more and settled themselves in their table. Eriol flashed Tomoyo a friendly smile as their eyes met.

"Sakura-chan," he started, "and Syaoron-kun are going to the Winter Festival this Friday."

Tomoyo nodded her dark brows creasing, indicating her confusion about where he's headed, and for once overlooked the fact that her dear cousin was going with Li Syaoron.

"Would it be inappropriate for me to ask for your company?" he asked. 

"If it's alright with you, that is," he quickly added, his face not showing any trace of uneasiness. "I mean, I would understand if you'd rather not."

Tomoyo's face broke into a warm smile.

"I'd love to," she answered.

Whatever the latter was planning to say was cut short as students streamed in the classroom, turning the once serene room into a sort of bustling marketplace. Two familiar brunettes strolled inside and walked towards their table. Tomoyo tried to conceal the smile that threatened to overcome her serious features once more, and for the first time realizing that Sakura was not the reason for it. 

Maybe, she thought hopefully, this day won't turn out so bad after all.

~*

AN: I know it's really short and sucky, but please guys, give this fic a chance? The whole Tomoyo-depressed-about-Sakura-and-Syaoron is overused, I know, and I personally think that Tomoyo feelings for Sakura is merely sisterly love, no matter how much people insist she feels more than that. However, I used the idea anyway in this fic because it just seemed so appropriate. The title ' The Lonely Ballerina' has got a lot to do with the story as you'll see in later chapters. Well that's my blab. Oh, and sorry for any mistakes.

Bye, God Bless, and Happy Holidays!!!

~hugz~

J.M.


	2. The Perfect Eyes

**__**

The Lonely Ballerina

AN: I guess I have made it appear that the whole Clow Card business ended when they were 10 years old in the first chapter, and that's is probably inaccurate, so pardon that blunder, please? Anyway, hope you all enjoy the second chapter of 'The Lonely Ballerina!' Thank you!

Dedication: To those people who've reviewed the first chapter. Fallon-chan, those Mimato fics of yours are the bomb; to my kababayan meiosis-rhyzn and Ekai Ungson wala lang ^_^. lilangel, ChrisMiss, Celrevia, Otaku-hime, Fuu, Ares24. Thank you so much for the nice reviews guys! 

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue. You got the drift, don't you? (Hey that rhymes!)

~*

__

~ The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."~

- Footprints -

~*

**__**

Chapter 2: The Perfect Eyes

~*

If there is one word to describe Daidouji Tomoyo, it is perfectionist. From a huge, obvious mistake to a miniscule error she could catch, rest assured that the girl would not stop until the blunder have been corrected. But as they all say, 'nobody can be absolutely perfect,' and the lengths that Tomoyo has to go through just to prove that that philosophy does not apply to everybody, is enough to make one's head spin. Tomoyo is a very self-critical person and seems to think that there is something definitely wrong with her - her appearance, attitude, everything - and being helpless to do anything about her flaws, she simply makes up for it by performing everything she does faultlessly.

Her 'horrible sketch' as she had put it, however, could not possibly help her support her antithesis about the saying this time. She had been working on it for hours, erasing every possible mistake she sees, and the wastebasket by her desk was already halfway full with crumpled papers containing illustrations one would find rather remarkable - but not Tomoyo. She saw errors in them nobody could detect, and so the sketches end up in the halfway filled trashcan.

Frustrated with herself, the defenseless piece of paper in front of her also endured her wrath. Tomoyo groaned as she stood up from her chair and paced about her room. Her drawings are definitely missing something. What it is, she did not know, but she was not about to give up that easily. She was, after all, one of the greatest manipulators Tomoeda had ever seen (following her mother's footsteps who's a few paces just behind Hiragizawa himself who - in Tomoyo's opinion - still held first place) and there is no way she can't maneuver her way through this problem. Absolutely no way. 

"Okay," she whispered, as she once again took her seat and stared at the blank piece of paper. 

It was a clumsy circle that first graced the immaculate paper in front of her as she attempt to sketch yet another drawing. That, of course, is where the face will be, the circle. Slight curves on both sides for the cheeks, downward line ending at a small curve that was the chin and up again for the other side of the jaw. She shook her head and erased the jaw line. It has to be exactly like the other side, and it certainly wasn't. It simply will not do. She tried again. After a few more tries, it finally came out perfectly, just like it should be. Just like the subject. Next comes the hair. Tomoyo closed her eyes for a moment, picturing the honey colored mane of her subject caressing its cheeks, making her feel slightly envious. The lovely smile, those sparkling eyes...

And she drew. The light brown hair that barely reached the slender shoulders, two identical circles for the eyes with the tiny pointed nose just below, and finally the mouth. She needed to think about that one. The lips of her model is small and pouty, the palest of pink. She smiled as she remembered, and draw she did.

Tomoyo held up the sketchbook and silently admired her work. The mouth was precise, just like how she wanted it to be. The silky hair was long done, nose as perfect as it can get, slim neck drawn, and the shoulders complete. All it needs now were the eyes. The eyes are the windows to a person's soul. She have heard that countless of times and often wondered, when she was little, who came up with such a true saying and how they knew. She would never get any answer, of course, so she simply satisfied herself with her assumptions that the creator was probably some lovesick fool who does nothing but stare at his lover's eyes. Her theory was ludicrous, she knew, and would sometimes bring a smile to her face even now.

So she drew the window to her subject's soul, shading in parts of it for effect. She stopped when she completed both of the eyes, stared at her work and frowned. They certainly did not sparkle, nor did they possess mirth like they usually hold. Instead they're solemn, sad even, and dull. No, no, it's not like that at all. They're supposed to glimmer brighter than the stars and they should hold unhidden laughter. They shouldn't portray loneliness or sadness, nor should they be sober and gloomy. The eyes shouldn't be like that at all, and she would not allow her hideous blunder affect the whole picture. So Tomoyo erased. She erased them till not a trace can be found, and started all over again.

~*

Nakuru was for once acting civilized and wasn't chasing him around the house forcing him to gulp down sweets she knew perfectly well will render him drunk, which he didn't plan to be considering that the mansion will be Nakuru and Eriol-free tonight and did not intend to tear the whole place up and let them find it in ruins when they've come home later. Yet he was aware it would not last for long, because after all the excitements tomorrow she'll be back to her normal self, so until then, he vowed to enjoy his time as if there's no tomorrow (which is unfortunately too true). Her running around the house, however, was definitely not an improvement to his dismay and he all but shout at her annoying actions. But somehow he couldn't. That's what makes her Nakuru, as irritating as it is, and he knew that quiet and Ruby Moon do not mix. So he let it go. But only for tonight, he thought, as a way of thanking her for giving him the day off. Tomorrow, he'll be barking like a dog so he needs to conserve energy tonight. 

Eriol's case was just as similar, minus the whole running of course; but then again Eriol was never loud. He definitely have sense enough to distinguish a racetrack from a house unlike Nakuru, who he noticed, was still brushing her lengthy hair just like she was doing five minutes ago.

"Honestly Ruby, your hair will certainly fall off if you keep that up," Spinel Sun drawled as he continued to flip through the pages of the magazine he's reading.

"No it won't!" chirped Nakuru as she dragged the brush through her hair one last time.

"I would gladly take you to the festival Suppi-chan but I will be devoting my time to my Touya-kun and Yuki-kun so I will not have time to watch over you!"

"And thank goodness for that Ruby," the guardian replied. "The name's Spinel, by the way."

"Ooh," Nakuru cooed as she practically strangle the tiny creature with her steely embrace. "Don't feel left out, Suppi-chan. I still think you're adorable. Not as cute as my Touya and Yuki of course, but still adorable."

"Let go Ruby," the abused guardian gasped.

But Nakuru held on, swaying her body left to right as if attempting to make a baby sleep, while she babbled on about how she planned to spend her night with 'her boys'. If it had not been for Eriol, who entered the living room a few moments after Spinel turned a sick shade of purple, she might've found the poor creature choked to death by the time she lets go.

"Ruby Moon, have mercy on Spinel," Eriol told her.

Nakuru released the cat-like creature who glared daggers at her.

"Those arms of yours are lethal," he coughed as he tried to catch his breath.

Nakuru grinned as she teased, "You know you love my hugs Suppi!"

"I guess I will see you at the festival?" asked Eriol as he picked up Spinel off the floor while Nakuru headed for the door.

"I guess so Eriol-sama. If we manage to find each other," she added cheerfully. "I plan on spending every second with my Touya-kun and Yuki-kun!"

"So I've heard," Spinel muttered.

"Have a wonderful time Ruby Moon. And please, do behave yourself."

Nakuru snorted.

"I think you're hanging around Suppi-chan too much Master. He's rubbing off to you," she said and before Spinel had time to defend himself, she was gone.

"Are you leaving now Eriol?" Spinel asked, turning to look at his young master.

"Yes. Are you sure you'll be fine here all alone? I'm sure Daidouji-san wouldn't mind seeing you." 

"I wouldn't mind it either but I'll manage. Besides, I need to catch up on my reading," the guardian replied.

"If you say so," Eriol said. "Well, I'm off Spinel. I do hope you have a wonderful time while we're gone."

Then he left, leaving Spinel all alone to catch up on his reading.

~*

It wasn't because he was eager, though it was probably part of it, but he really did not have a clue as to why he didn't call first before he went to her house. Eriol had a distinct suspicion that the sudden memory loss was a result of being at home for three days straight, sulking, but it wasn't really fair to blame his foolishness onto something else. It's not like it was that important anyway, considering that Tomoyo seldom forgets anything (it had just only been four days since he asked for her company after all) and will most likely be all ready and was only waiting for him to show up. His biggest fear, however, was Tomoyo's maids or worse her mother, would think of him as being ill-mannered by showing up unannounced. He had been at Tomoyo's house only a few times, being that they weren't really that close (friends, but not close friends), and he never really knew how to act around her house. It's easy enough to feel at home when visiting Sakura's place since Clow Reed's half soul which is Fujitaka live there and the feeling of ease he always have whenever he grace the house is something even he can't describe. Syaoron's apartment is welcoming and homey, and just as comfortable as Sakura's house, which is why he can do anything in it and not feel at all savage (and he usually do absurd things just to see his descendant fume in anger). But not in Tomoyo's house. It was too late to call at a pay phone anyway because the Daidouji residence was already in view when he remembered that he hadn't announced his arrival. 

The mansion did not intimidate him at all, for he too live in one. He pressed the doorbell by the gates. A female voice answered.

"This is Hiragizawa Eriol, a friend of Tomoyo's. I'm here to pick her up for the Winter Festival," he explained. 

The gates opened to let him in. He entered, his shoes clattering silently on the cobblestones covered with thin sheets of soft snow. The house was brightly lit by a variety of Christmas lights that adorned the outside of the mansion. 

It certainly looked homey, Eriol thought.

But it wasn't at all happy. A house that big with only a handful of people cannot be at all joyful, he knew that for a fact.

He rang the doorbell by the front door. A woman, presumably a maid in her late forties, opened the door.

"Good evening, I'm here to pick up Daidouji Tomoyo," he said pleasantly.

The woman smiled kindly.

"Come in," she gestured for Eriol as she moved away to let him in. "You can wait in th-"

"Tamachi-sama, please do me a favor and take this to the living room," a female voice cut off what the maid was about to say as she descend from the polished wooden staircase carrying a large brown box.

"Yes Daidouji-sama," the servant replied as she took the box from her mistress and left Eriol standing at the door.

"Hello," Daidouji Sonomi greeted when she saw him.

"Hello," he replied politely. 

"Hiragizawa, isn't it?" she asked, smiling.

"Hai Daidouji-sama," he answered, relieved that she had remembered him. 

"Yes, I remember my Tomoyo-chan had brought you here a couple of times before."

Eriol smiled. 

"Anyway, I'm here to pick up you daughter Daidouji-sama. We're going to the Winter Festival."

"Of course. I hope you don't mind if I just sent you to her room Hiragizawa-san. I am afraid the whole house is in a poor state for visitors as of now," Sonomi begged pardon as she stepped out of the way to le him in.

"Oh, I don't mind at all. And I apologize for the intrusion Daidouji-sama."

"Oh, nonsense. It is upstairs at the end of the hall to your left. The last one," she directed, pointing at the grand staircase she had came down from moments ago.

Eriol bowed slightly and thanked her before heading up the stairs toward Tomoyo's bedroom. 

~*

It wasn't working. She have no idea what the problem is, but she can't seem to get it right. She knew exactly how those eyes looked but she's having some difficulty drawing it on paper. It was frustrating!

She glanced at it again. The eyes still seem lonely, she thought, as the sketch stared back at her. She sighed, looking totally drained.

"Beautiful," someone commented behind her.

" Oh Kami!" she cried, almost jumping out of her seat.

"Although," the intruder continued as if unaware of the female's reaction to his presence, "the eyes seems somber."

Then he smiled.

"Don't you think so Daidouji-san?" he asked, taking his sapphire eyes off the sketch and turning to look at her.

Needless to say, Daidouji Tomoyo was startled, not only because of his sudden appearance but also the fact that he was in her room. Her bedroom that she had never shown to anybody else except Sakura, Syaoron, and Meiling. Where she sleeps, dress, eats at times, and where all her personal belongings were kept. She wouldn't have been as surprised, she supposed, if she had met him downstairs, but her bedroom? It was, in all, a very embarrassing moment for her. He was in her room! Her bedroom! Her sanctuary! He was in it!

How in the world did he get in? And who had let him in?

"I am sorry Daidouji-san. Your door was wide open and you seem not hear me when I was calling at you - busy drawing I suppose - so I came in. I'm very sorry," he said as if he'd read her mind (which, se reminded herself, he probably did). "And," he added, "your mother had let me in. She says your house is currently not fit for visitors so she had sent me up here."

She just gaped at him, not saying or comprehending, what was happening.

"Preparations for a party, perhaps?" he asked when she still didn't reply.

"How did you get in?" she had asked the same question he just answered a few moments ago.

"Your mother sent me up here Daidouji-san," Eriol replied patiently.

Tomoyo, by now had recovered from her shock much to Eriol's relief, and was able to think of the question she had been too stunned to come up with earlier.

"What are you doing here Hiragizawa-kun?" 

"I'm glad you asked, my lady, for it seems that the start of winter break had not only affect my memory but yours as well."

He grinned, the same exact one that graced his face when he saw her struggling to carry that box to Ms. Motomiya's room that Monday. It irritated her. Why must he always find it amusing to startle her? Doesn't he know that he might cause her to have a sudden heart attack one of these days if he doesn't quit? And couldn't he sense that he was only a few centimeters close from being slapped by her? Apparently not, for he still have that ridiculous grin on his face.

"What are you talking about?" Tomoyo queried, obviously clueless as to what he was ranting on about.

"The Winter Festival, Daidouji-san," was Eriol's amused answer. "It is Friday the 17th, is it not?"

It didn't take her long to recall. Oh, of course, the festival. How could she have forgotten? One of the biggest events that happens in Tomoeda every year is the Winter Festival that starts from the first week of December and throughout Christmas Eve. The festival is always held at the huge Sejie Park, south of Tomoeda. Last year, Tomoyo was saved from being at the festival alone with Kero, by Sakura and the others who have decided to go as a group. This year, however, the lovebirds - Sakura and Syaoron, Yamazaki and Chiharu, and Rika and Terada-sensei - and all the others who have not been so lucky with love had chose to go as individuals. Saved Eriol and Tomoyo of course who have decided to go together. 

"Well," Eriol resumed, when it was apparent that he had once again taken Tomoyo by surprise and was once more speechless, "a promise is a promise and we must not promise anything if we intend to break it."

The teasing in his voice was obvious and the expression on his face did not help matters at all as Tomoyo found herself again in a situation where all she wanted was to wipe that silly smile off his face. But as always, she's helpless to accomplish the desire. There was one thing left she could do though now that she's alone with him.

"I did not intend on breaking my promise!" she shouted. 

It felt good to scold Hiragizawa Eriol, Tomoyo soon learned, and was by now waiting for him to show an embarrassed expression. As usual, all she got was that annoying grin. She growled. He was really trying her patience. First his mysterious appearance (which was no longer a mystery), in her bedroom no less, then the stupid guessing game - which did not last long much to her relief - and still there was that lecture about breaking promises, and now this? Couldn't he just give her a break for once and give her the pleasure of being the first one to see him flustered?

"Daidouji-san!" he gasped theatrically, "is that anyway to treat a guest?"

"Well," she paused, "I didn't mean to forget about the festival. It slipped my mind, that is all."

"If you insist, Your Grace."

He bowed, making her fume in anger. He was mocking her! How dare he!

"Does the lovely princess still have the heart to fulfill her promise?"

"No," she said just as dramatically as she whipped around, facing her desk instead of him. "The toad of a prince was too exasperating for her liking. I'm afraid she has to break her promise."

Eriol smiled at her playfulness as a wicked thought wormed inside his head. 

"Alright," he replied quietly, lips trembling slightly as if holding back sobs. "The bothersome toad will now leave your quarters, Highness."

Tomoyo bit her lip, as she heard his silent form walking away. She didn't mean that for real. She had thought he have sense enough to realize she was merely having fun with him. She turned around.

"Matte!" she cried after the retreating Eriol. "I'm sorry. I did not mean that."

Eriol spun around, revealing a torn up expression which made her heart even heavier with guilt.

"I'm sorry," she repeated as she lowered her eyes to the ground, suddenly finding the polished wooden floor interesting.

It was then that she heard chuckles. Silent chuckles that seemed to wrack a certain dark-haired male's body. Why of all the nerve!

"You jerk!" she exclaimed, feeling humiliated and angry at the same time - though much angrier - as she glared at him.

"Why Highness! I've never thought you of all people is capable of using such words!" he laughed, mirth evident in his blue eyes.

"Oh I am capable of it. And more," she answered, her eyes glowing dangerously. 

"My apologies Princess, but I cannot help myself."

"Well try harder next time you have the sudden urge of playing a stupid prank on me!" she scold.

"Yes, Your Grace. It would not happen again," he said, smiling.

"I've heard that before," she muttered, turning around to go to her private bathroom. "Don't touch anything while I'm gone."

"Daidouji-san, do you not trust me?" asked Eriol.

Tomoyo stopped and faced him, receiving another one of his friendly smiles.

"No," she said and hurried off to the bathroom, wearing the first genuine smile she'd had since the start of winter break.

~*

AN: I'm so sorry guys, but I have to leave the story hanging for now. If you are confused as to when the start of their Winter Break, it was Wednesday, two days after Eriol asked Tomoyo to the festival. Lucky them. The whole sketching scene, trust me you do not want to be attack by this -_-;;;. I've had days when my drawings are just not right, and I don't blame Tomoyo-chan from being aggravated. I've warned you that the characters in this story are very OOC, but Tomoyo always flustered? Come on, you don't see that everyday. Next chapter is the festival! Whoo! Is anyone still reading this? Check out some of my favorite fics if you have the chance. They're great I tell you! Pardon any mistakes. English is not my first language (is it obvious?) so I assume there is a lot of blunder in both chapters so far. Sorry. Writing is one thing, but editing? I can only do so much. Thank you so much for reading. Any comments, constructive criticisms, anything, just email me or put it in the review. Appreciate that a lot! And any other E/T ficcies you have written or read please inform me about them. I'm crazy about this couple and I can't get enough fiction about these two. Thank you!

Bye and God Bless guys!

~hugz~

J.M


	3. Melodies of the Heart

**__**

The Lonely Ballerina

AN: I realized I've made a mistake about the whole report thing being due before their winter break starts. So sorry about that you guys. I wanted to change it, but I didn't want to lose all those pretty reviews you guys gave me! For those people who've caught that blunder, so sorry. It would not affect the main plot of the story, for it was only one little thing, but it will confuse people. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's fine. Anyway, I thank you for those who have reviewed this pathetic excuse for a fic. I realize it's rather boring, poorly written, and above all else, it's just plain horrible, but I'm grateful to those who can stomach this story. I praise you all. 

Dedication: To Fallon-chan who had threatened me into getting the next part of this fic done. Thank you! Hopefully someday I'll be as good a writer as you are. Hey, it's not a crime to dream, ne? Go check her fics guys! 

Disclaimer: Clamp and all the other owners of CCS deserve the compliments and credit for creating a world such as this one. Next to Takeuchi-sama, I worship these guys (yes, I'm a Sailor Moon fanatic ^_^;;; what can I say?).

~*

__

~ The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."~

-Footprints-

~*

**__**

Chapter 3: Melodies of the Heart

~*

The smile that adorned his face wasn't at all the same as the one he had given Tomoyo a few minutes ago. Or was it? He couldn't tell. This one felt more like a smirk to him. The creepy, almost evil type of smile there is. The one that hides one's secret, however good or mischievous that may be. A sarcastic smile, that's what it was. Oh, this is definitely a smirk he's wearing right now as he stared at the sketch that lay forgotten on Tomoyo's polished mahogany desk. The one he had on before had disappeared as soon as she turned her back on him and entered her private bathroom to change.

He found himself suddenly chuckling a mirthless chuckle as he continued to eye the object. It is indeed difficult to understand how emotions can affect a person's work, making it appear... different than it should be. Yes, that's the term he's looking for, different. Different in a way one would find hard to describe. That is the word, he decided as he sat on the chair occupied by Tomoyo a while ago. The sketch is truly beautiful, he admits that much. The eyes are what made the picture stand out. There is only a couple of words to describe the emotion presented in those eyes. Unhappy and lonely to name a few. Gentle? Possibly, but he doubt it. The desire to show such was visibly there, but the attempt was obviously fruitless for it showed only great sorrow. Definitely not the look he had detected in the subject's eyes, but he supposed that he simply never noticed. He suddenly had the urge to laugh out loud. She never was accused of being a good actress or liar after all (save when in front of the camera and Daidouji Tomoyo) and someone as observant as he should not have as much difficulty reading her as much as he does with Daidouji. Perhaps when he is absent? Reasonable enough, but clearly the marks left by the countless times she had erased indicates her futile endeavor on making the eyes look anything but somber. Longing? Hopelessness? Perhaps.

Eriol leaned his back on the chair he was comfortably sitting on but shifted ever so slightly as he felt her from behind. He had not realized that he had been studying Tomoyo's sketch this whole time. And he was planning on touching everything too, just to see her fume in anger when she emerges from the other room. Of course he never got the chance to and he decided that it was best not to get Daidouji Tomoyo mad enough to make her cancel their plans for the night. It wasn't like he needed to tour the whole place anyway, even if it was his first time coming up to her room. One look at the place when he came in earlier and he had it memorized, as if he had been living there himself.

Tomoyo's place is what one would call "a princess's chamber" with its ceiling-to-floor windows (one of which can actually be opened and leads to a small balcony overlooking the beautiful flower garden in the back of the mansion) covered with milky white silk curtains with lilac accents that looks ethereal especially in the afternoons when it catches rays of bright sunlight; the four-poster bed covered in thick covers of beige and lilac was positioned in the center of the room (soft, furry rug of beige underneath) between two windows, transparent cloth of the same shades as the covers serves as hangings making it look just like those antique beds in hundred year-old-houses. Just like the rest of the Daidouji mansion, Tomoyo's room was carpetless. Two small identical mahogany table-like cabinets were located on either side of the bed like bodyguards, with a foot and a half tall lamps on each one topped with milky white lampshades. A grand electric chimney was built on the other side of the room, right at the foot of the old fashion bed, framed pictures of Tomoyo's friends - which included, much to Eriol's surprise, him and his guardians - and family sat on the narrow counter atop the hearth, the carved door that leads to Tomoyo's dressing room beside it. A shimmering chandelier of glass and gold hung above the mattress, giving off enough light to make the place look like something out of a fairy tale book. Whitewashed walls with chiseled oak wood borders surrounded the entire place. By the entrance was the beige loveseat by one of the windows that can comfortably seat two, and at the far side of the room at the corner was the mahogany desk and the black leather office chair where Eriol now sat.

He felt her creep up to him and an amused grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as chuckles tickled his throat, attempting to escape, but he wouldn't let it. That would spoil the fun and this is another rare opportunity he did not want nor intend to pass by. He felt her walking towards him, obviously convinced that he was oblivious about her presence. He closed his eyes momentarily. This should prove to be quite amusing.

~*

She saw him, sitting on her leather office chair, undoubtedly staring and possibly criticizing her horrific work. She felt her ears go warm at the thought. It was a rather personal sketch, which was not suppose to be seen by eyes other than hers. Like her bedroom. Sakura was an exception of course. Syaoron's impromptu visit took her completely by surprise (she found the topic of their dramatic conversation too personal to be discussed in a very public place like the living room) and had no other choice but to usher him in her room, and Meiling was terribly lonely and upset about her cousin at that time. She had no choice, to say the least, but to welcome them to her sanctuary. It wasn't like she minded them coming up to her room after those incidents, but aside from her mother, her friends, and the maids, nobody had the opportunity to even get a glance at Tomoyo's boudoir. She would not let them in anyway. Eriol, however, was already in her room. If he had been at her bedroom door asking permission to come in, she might have the courage to come up with a lie to prevent him from insisting on entering or maybe just be downright rude to the guy and shut the door in his face like she would most likely do to any other who wished to grace her personal space - her bedroom. But she couldn't just throw him out. Not after she found out she had completely forgot about the festival. If she had kicked him out, it would be the same as saying she doesn't care that she had forgotten about their plans or being polite at that matter. 

She would not go as far as being obsessed with keeping her place from prying eyes, but for her, it was like being exposed to the whole world if a stranger gets at least one quick look at her room and she certainly didn't want that. She is a well-known characters, yes, but she supposed being the only child of the CEO of one of the most prosperous toy companies in the world would make one quite famous - even those who did not wish to be - but what people know of Daidouji Tomoyo are merely lies. A mask she refused to wear yet had no other choice but to do so in fear that someone might see right through her, might break through her walls. Eriol is one of those people that she should be cautious with, Tomoyo knew. He was fire, dangerous and sly, and she was the helpless moth that was being drawn to it, not anticipating that it was playing with a perilous force. But as long as Tomoyo keep her guard up, she knew she's safe.

She had forgotten about her manners too, earlier now that she thought about it. Eriol was to blame, she thought distractedly, by taking her completely by surprise, so all the thought of being polite disappeared from her mind. It wasn't entirely her fault she had failed to ask how he was (and now as she thought of it, so did he), or invite him for some tea, or ask him to sit! Her eyebrows furrowed slightly. What did her mother use to say? Oh, yes. A lady should remember her manners at all times. Sonomi had put much emphasis on the word "always" too. How ever would she react if she found out that Tomoyo practically dragged her guest out her bedroom? 

She opened her mouth to speak but abruptly stop herself before a breath escaped her lips as an idea struck her. She smirked evilly. It's payback time. She slowly approached him, trying not to make a single sound that would give away her presence. It was actually very childish for a girl of eighteen to be sneaking behind someone's back and scaring them out of their wits, but it was only fair. He'd snuck behind her and frightened her to no end, so reversing the situation now and then should be enough payment for his treatment. If she hadn't been so caught up celebrating her assured victory, she would've detected Eriol's shoulders quavering a little with uncontrollable giggle and stopped before reaching her ultimate doom. But she didn't, and that was a mistake she would soon regret. Tomoyo quickly stopped a few paces behind him and took a silent breath, preparing for her speech, which only consist of the words "What are you doing". Before she could utter a word, however, he cut her off and surprised her. Again.

"I," he started as he whirled himself around in the chair, a triumphant smile curving his lips.

"Eep!" she squeaked, unable to hide the surprised expression on her face. 

"Wouldn't do that if I were you," Eriol resumed, laughter evident in his framed sapphire eyes.

"How do you do that?" she asked incredulously, her hand clasping her chest.

"I just do," he replied, standing up from the chair. 

Tomoyo shook her head in defeat, a disappointed look on her slightly flushed face. Once again, the reincarnation of the great Clow Reed had defeated sneaky, mischievous Tomoyo.

"You always beat me Hiragizawa-kun. It isn't fair," she said, or rather whined, as she stomped her foot on the polished wooden floor of her vast bedroom. He chuckled at her infantile action.

"Sneakiness, Daidouji-san. Sneakiness."

She rolled her purple eyes heavenward. Eriol laughed out loud.

"I'm sneaky," she muttered, a pout on her face.

"Ah. Out of practice, perhaps?" he teased.

"Haha. Funny Hiragizawa-kun. Hilarious," she replied sardonically and looked away from Eriol.

A moment of silence went by. She started fiddling with the pendant of her necklace nervously. It was a beautiful silver charm shaped into a tiny ballerina that hung from a silver chain on her neck. The pendant was very detailed for something so little, about an inch to be exact, from the tip of its silver hands that stretches up above its tiny head and towards the heavens, to its little curled feet that seem not to possess a single bone. Her mother had given it to her when she was twelve years old. She saw it at a jewelry store when she and her mother went shopping and was absolutely taken by it. Tomoyo was rather speechless when she had opened the velvet box that contained what would be one of her most prized possessions. She often referred to it as 'The Lonely Ballerina' and her mother had once asked her why she had named it such and she told her. 

"Because she's alone. Because she's dancing alone, Mother," were her exact words. Sonomi simply nodded in understanding. 

His eyes were still on her as she tries to avoid his gaze. Eriol seems to get the message that he was making Tomoyo uncomfortable by staring at her.

"Forgive my rudeness, Daidouji-san. You look wonderful," he complimented, looking at Tomoyo. It was always polite to compliment a lady. At least it was what Clow was taught. It was, in a way, saying you appreciate their taking the time to accompany you. And it was nice, especially for women, to receive complements. Besides, Daidouji Tomoyo, clad in blue jeans, periwinkle turtleneck with black overcoat and boots to top off the ensemble, did look wonderful. It was nice to see her dressed in something other than that stuffy school uniform.

"Thank you," she replied casually. "Likewise."

"I'm glad you think so," he said.

"You know that that is the only pleasant thing you have said to me since you've arrived?"

"I have noticed Daidouji-san. I have noticed," he said, nodding in agreement. It was the first time that night he agreed with her without sarcasm at all too. He paused. "So, shall we go?" he asked as he held out his hand to Tomoyo. 

"Lead the way," Tomoyo answered, placing her hand on his outstretched one.

~* 

He glanced at her at the corner of his eyes, still baffled as to why half - if not all - of the male's species in their school would willingly cut their right and left arms off, if given the chance, just to go out with Daidouji Tomoyo. It's not because he doesn't have eyes nor was he oblivious to the fact that most of them are taken by her only because of her beauty and grace, and he would only be lying to himself if he denied that he does not find the girl the least bit attractive. He admits it; Daidouji-san is indeed a competition to Aphrodite herself, however corny that sounded. With those smooth, unblemished, ivory skin, silky purple tinted mane that caresses her slim back; those eyes of purplish blue which reflects emotions that changes like the season; lips of red, small and thin - which would curve down in an adorable pout occasionally, but nevertheless usually curled upward in either a smile (genuine or not) or a smirk. And who could forget that angelic voice of hers? Even the birds in the early morn cannot contend to Daidouji Tomoyo's voice. Yet it was always a wonder to him how many can fall under her spell, and pondered as to why _he _wasn't taken by her physical appearance at all - at least not the way the male population in school are. He cared for her, yes, more than he did eight years ago he noticed, but in a friendly sort of way. Nothing more, nothing less. And nothing will change that. Nothing at all. 

Then again, there were those who are simply money hungry. Daiduoji Tomoyo is after all the only daughter of Daidouji Sonomi - owner of the prosperous Daidouji Toys. He wouldn't be surprised if some of these so-called admirers were after her wealth as well.

But, Eriol mused to himself, I suppose Daidouji-san is too blinded by Sakura-chan to glance at anybody else.

He mentally shook his head and concentrated on other things that did not include the girl beside him, who looked around the festival with excitement in her eyes that reminded him so much of a little child. They haven't been on any rides at all, considering that they have arrived at the festival only a couple of minutes ago.

"So, which ride do you want to go to first?" Tomoyo asked, eyes glittering with excitement indicating her eagerness to go on the rides.

Eriol can only grin at her reaction. "Well," Eriol started, "I was thinking we can get something to eat first."

Tomoyo pouted. It was painfully apparent that she's itching to go on the rides, but that would have to wait. 

"Are you hungry, Hiragizawa-kun?" she asked, once more portraying an adorable little girl.

Only Daidouji-san isn't a little girl, he reminded himself. Oh no, not at all. Little girls are cute and more likely to be unrefined, not beautiful and elegant like Tomoyo. Eriol shuddered at the use of word _cute_. Nevertheless he managed a smile as he answered Tomoyo.

"Unfortunately. Aren't you?"

She shook her head no. She definitely doesn't want to waste any more time if they could help it, but she was the who had made them late in the first place. If she hadn't forgotten about the festival, they would've been there an hour or so ago, probably enjoying large, fluffy cotton candy. She supposed it's only fair, especially since Eriol had not have his dinner yet.

"Okay, we can go get something to eat, but after that, can we go on the rides, please?"

"That's what we're here for, isn't it?"

"Thanks Hiragizawa-kun!" she chirped, pulling him towards the nearest food stand.

Eriol grinned as he let himself be dragged off. He's doing that an awful lot tonight, though he finds it somewhat impossible not to do so when in the presence of a flustered Tomoyo. Except she wasn't perplexed at all tonight (not counting the incident in her bedroom earlier that evening, of course), and if anything, she almost looked relaxed in his company - something that had rarely occur in all the years they have been acquainted. It was a nice feeling, being close to Daidouji Tomoyo. It's for the best, as far as Eriol is concerned, for that tiny ray of hope once again shone - much brighter than before - and he could almost feel the barrier between them slowly being demolished. When it started happening, he was not sure, but was nonetheless grateful to Kami that he had been given another chance to hammer down the obstacle. They aren't having as much trouble communicating now, he noticed, and was very glad of the change. He supposed it was the teasing. It was rather childish, he knew, but it seems that that's the only way he could get Daidouji Tomoyo to talk to him. He would try to get her to open up some other way someday, but right now, he's contented on just tormenting her.

"Hiragizawa-kun?" 

Tomoyo's voice was faint, as if far away, or was it him? He wasn't sure.

"Yes?" he heard himself reply.

"Daijoubu de suka?"

"What?" he blinked. "Oh, umm... I'm fine Daidouji-san. I'm flattered that you cared."

He quickly regained his composure and flashed his friend a dashing smile, intending for her not to have notice his absent-mindedness. Tomoyo's face broke into an evil smirk, unaffected by his smile, as if she knew something he did not. Which she probably does, as usual.

"I was merely asking because I want to go on the rides now Hiragizawa-kun," was her snotty reply.

"Ouch," Eriol murmured, loud enough for Tomoyo to hear, while his dark eyes danced with unhidden amusement and his thin lips were pulled up in a tiny smile.

He had forgotten that he was not the only one who's full of snotty comments.

Tomoyo looked at him and was unable to control herself. She smiled as well.

"You are something else Hiragizawa-kun."

"Am I to take that as a compliment or an insult?"

"Well," she paused, "I leave that decision up to you."

~*

The night was going absolutely wonderful, and he couldn't help but think how lucky he was to be spending this time with her. Perfect is the only word that could describe this night, and if he was to say that rather poetic thought out loud, most likely half if not all the people in the festival, may they be old or young, will have to agree with him. The rest will probably think he was some nut on the loose, but that wouldn't matter to him. He had been called worse, and if that is the price he have to pay for being so madly in love, then so be it. 

The weather was perfect with the cool winter breeze combing through his dark hair. The festival was great with the rides and stands decorated with bright, flamboyant lights that twinkled like small fireflies on a summer evening, and if one would look at it from afar, they would see a picture of brightness and merriment like one would see in a snow globe. Minus the snow, of course, for not a snowflake had touched the ground of Tomoeda since the last week of November, which was pretty unusual. But most of all, it was her that was flawless. Everything she touched he envies and everything she finds beautiful was exquisite in his eyes as well. But not as ethereal as her. Nothing could compete with her charm and anybody who would say otherwise would painfully endure the wrath of the fiery gentleman. Every move she makes was magic to him and he seems to keep on falling deeper and deeper in love with her. She was a fallen angel and she was the only woman he sees. Not that it was anything new. It had always been the same story for the last six years. 

He tightened his grip on her slender waist to draw her closer to him (if that was even possible) as if the wind itself would take her away from him. She smiled and halted, surprising him. She stood on her toes and whispered to his ear, causing him to laugh out loud. He bent his head low as to whisper in her ear. Her giggles surrounded him, drowning him, and he smiled as they resumed their journey in a comfortable silence, gazing at the bright festival with content as couples, families and friends passed them by, while he unconsciously drew her closer to him once more. She giggled again, and he simply chuckled knowing what had caused her outburst. 

"You're a witch, aren't you?" he softly mumbled in her sweet scented hair.

"The last time I checked, yes," she replied, her arms wrapped tightly around the stuffed sheep the boy beside her had won her.

"You must've cast a spell on me then."

She pouted. "You have gotten yourself in that situation Syaoron. Magic has nothing to do with it."

He can only chuckle. "I suppose it doesn't."

"I'm glad you agree," she said.

"Always for you Sakura. Always for you."

And he really did mean it.

~*

This is beyond humiliating. The roller coaster he didn't really mind, even if he was on the verge of disposing his dinner after the wild ride. The Ferris Wheel? It was nothing. He was use to heights anyway, and it didn't look at all childish to get on it since people twice his age were more eager to ride it than he and Daidouji-san did. The Teacup? He supposed it wasn't that embarrassing being seen riding a twirling teacup. He actually enjoyed it. This, however, is way out of the picture. Way out. He would rather ride the roller coaster ten more times than to get on this. It isn't about the ride at all actually, well, not really. It was being seen on it, even if it was "just for fun" as Tomoyo had told him. Who would waste five tickets on this anyway?

Tomoyo proceeded to drag the squirming Eriol who was trying everything to get her to change her mind. She wouldn't hear any of it, however. After all, she came to this festival to have some fun and so far the night was turning out to be a great get away from her emotional problems, even if it was just for a while. 

"It'll be fun Hiragizawa-kun. Trust me."

He does trust her. He really does. Except this time, he'd rather not take the offer. The price he'll pay is way over his head.

"Why don't we go on the roller coaster? That'd be more enjoyable than this," he reasoned.

"Oh, come on! And be covered in your dinner by the end of the ride? I'd rather not Hiragizawa-kun, thank you very much. Besides, you've been to one of these before, haven't you? It'll be fun," she told him again.

"B-but really Daidouji-san. Tunnel of Love?" he stuttered, aghast that she really wanted to go through with it.

"Come on! Even the reincarnation of Clow Reed must think about love sometimes. This would be the perfect opportunity to find your soulmate."

Soulmate? He had lost that one person a long time ago, but obviously this wasn't the time to open up old wounds. The night was going too perfect to be ruined by one single thought such as that. Eriol felt the back of his neck go warm. From thinking about what they were about to do or the thought of his love life (or the lack thereof), he wasn't sure. He decided that it was the first one. He shuddered at the thought of riding a swan boat that could barely hold two adults, with a girl strangling him to death with her embrace. Not a very pleasant image, especially for someone who was about to do something very humiliating. 

"Daidouji-san, please. That ride is for children and if you haven't noticed, we're not."

Tomoyo suddenly let go of his hand. He has gone too far and he knows it.

"Alright, it's your loss," she said as she walked away, leaving him standing in the middle of the festival.

Eriol groaned. He was wrong. Tomoyo is still a child, and a very immature one at that. He will regret this. He knew he would.

"Daidouji-san, wait up!"

~*

This is definitely one of the most memorable time of her life. She have only a handful of unforgettable memories, the last one she had being that one week summer vacation with her friends in Tokyo last year, courtesy of her mother of course, and it would be kind of nice to have another addition in her "box-o-memories" as she have come to call it. Eriol, at long last, gave in and was now on the other side of the wooden barrier that separated the ladies' line from the men's. 

Tomoyo chuckled as the memory of Eriol's expression when she had proposed she wanted to go on The Tunnel of Love. Pure disgust, one would describe it, but she found horrified more appropriate. Eriol. He had been a wonderful company tonight, letting her drag him everywhere without protest - except this one of course - and winning her that adorable stuffed bunny. She held the toy closer to her as she thought of that shooting game they went to earlier before the Teacup ride. He would've won her every prize in every gaming booth they stopped by had not she stepped in stopped him. She didn't want him to waste anymore money on her, considering that he refused to let her pay for anything. 

The masculine voice of the ticket taker rang in her ears, shaking her out her reverie. She gave him five red tickets and stepped out of the line and out the ebony cloth that concealed the narrow platform, where "couples" would wait for an available boat, from those who were waiting in line. It was rather strange that they should put up something like that (for privacy they had said), but Tomoyo had let it go. She anxiously waited for her "soulmate" to emerge from the thick cloth. Perhaps, in the back of her mind, she was hoping to find a certain auburn haired girl coming out to meet her destiny, so she was a little disappointed when a boy of around fifteen with chocolate brown eyes came out. Of course what she was hoping was impossible! Her dear cousin has found her destiny a long time ago and it was time that she accept that, no matter how painful it is. 

She smiled sweetly and bowed to him, terminating anymore thoughts on the matter. He did the same.

"So, you're my soulmate."

He laughed sheepishly. From the way he carried himself, Tomoyo could tell that the kid was brought up good. 

"Daidouji Tomoyo," she said holding out her hand to him.

"Yusuke. Urameshi Yusuke," he replied taking her hand gently into his.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Urameshi-san."

"Oh no, the pleasure is all mine Daidouji-san."

The clearing of a throat disrupted their conversation. They turned around and found a man waiting for them with the swan like boat. It looks like they would have to continue their chat later.

"I guess it's time to explore the tunnel of love, huh?"

Yusuke just smiled as he followed her.

"Oh," she added after settling on the boat, "if this thing topples over, I can swim so don't worry."

"Ah, you're one of those girls with the I-don't-need-anybody's-help attitude."

"That's another way of putting it."

Tomoyo nodded and they soon set off into the dim tunnel, where hearts of different shade of red and pink decorated the tunnel walls.

~*

Tomoyo found Eriol waiting patiently by the exit when she came out with Yusuke. They were laughing about a story Yusuke had told her, which involved him and a friend in a women's bathroom. Eriol greeted them with a friendly grin as Tomoyo introduced the two.

"Well, I must be going," Yusuke announced. "It was nice meeting you Daidouji-san, Hiragizawa-san."

He took her hand and kissed it gently. "'Till we meet again."

"Sayonara Urameshi-san. 'Till we meet again."

Then he was gone, blending in with the crowd that had not lessen despite the hour. She turned to face Eriol who was looking rather cheerful. Too cheerful.

"Urameshi-san seems wonderful?" he said, in attempt to strike up a conversation as they wander aimlessly at the festival. It was nearly midnight and the temperature seemed to have gone a few degrees down. 

"Oh, he is, he's a darling," she told him. "Unfortunately I'm old enough to be her older sister." She sighed theatrically. "How was you soulmate?"

"Oh! We were totally made for each other!" he exclaimed.

"Tell me about it," she said, intrigued. 

"She was beautiful, with dark eyes and pale skin." He paused and looked at the ground. "She cried when she found out she and her boyfriend weren't destined to be together."

"Seriously?" Tomoyo asked. She could not imagine anybody actually taking the whole concept of meeting your soulmate in a carnival ride seriously. After all, it was just superstition. But she supposed she couldn't blame them for taking it to heart. 'Expect the unexpected' as Kero always say, and Tomoyo wouldn't be at all surprise if The Tunnel of Love did turn out to be something worthwhile.

He nodded. "I ended up half deaf after the ride."

Tomoyo laughed. How many times have she done that tonight? Five? Ten? She have lost count. It had been a while since she was able to smile a real smile. She certainly is out of practice in that field. But with Eriol, it comes to her very easy. It scared her for some reason. Tomoyo hugged the stuffed bunny he had given her closer to her chest. 

"Daidouji-san, why don't we go there?" Eriol suddenly asked, breaking Tomoyo's reverie. 

The Music Box. Tomoyo definitely knew this part of the festival. After all, this was where she usually see Sakura and Syaoron when they go to the Winter Festival every year. She contemplated whether to refuse or not, but Eriol was already holding her hand and leading her towards The Music Box. It was a huge circular tent - much like a circus tent - with the words The Music Box in fancy bold letters above where the opening was. 

"Hiragizawa-kun," she started as they entered but whatever she was about to say caught in her throat at the sight that greeted her.

Beautiful is an understatement, was Tomoyo's initial thought, and she would be right. Dim light the shade of Sakura blossoms highlighted certain places, tiny speckles of light dancing on the ceiling of the tent like stars in the midnight sky. A melody, its softness almost heart-breaking, filled the room. Couples swayed to the music in perfect accord, hands and bodies connected with an invisible string. Their hearts, being completed in each move, beating as one, spelling one single word each throb. Love.

They shouldn't be here. Really, they shouldn't.

"Dance with me," Eriol softly whispered in her ear. 

Desperation. That's what she heard in his voice, desperation, and she suddenly found herself asking the question no one would be able to answer. Why? She had no longer any strength to refuse him. Tomoyo met his eyes, not at all surprised at the hint of pain that was reflected in those sapphire orbs. His voice can certainly gave all that away, but something about seeing it in his eyes - which, she now noticed, weren't at all pure blue but a tinge of silver and purple too were there - that tugged at her soul. Why? He held her hand, handling it with the gentlest touch as if it was a fragile china, and they danced, swaying to the melody in perfect harmony. Their bodies, moving as one. And they were lost. Lost in each other, to the music, with the rest of the world fading fast without them realizing it. Eriol buried his face in Tomoyo's loose hair, sweet scent of vanilla and strawberries filling his senses. 

"Let me in Tomoyo. Please let me in, I have nowhere else to go," he whispered, forgetting all about formalities.

It was in the way he held her. The way he practically begged that pulled the tears out of her eyes. She understood now. He's still in the dark, still lost. He needs somebody to run to as much as she does. The teasing, tormenting her. It was all because he wanted her to open up, to let him in. That is what he meant.

But she couldn't possibly do that. She can't let him in her world. She mustn't.

"Okay," she answered instead. Why she had said such thing was beyond her and berated herself for it.

"Okay."

And they continued to sway, the stuffed bunny lying on the ground, forgotten. 

It was right. This was right, Tomoyo thought. Eriol is just the right person to bring back the melodies in her heart and teach her to let go, and maybe someday, she can return the favor. 

~*

AN: There now. Hope you guys enjoyed that. Next chapter should be coming out, soon hopefully. I did not mean this chapter to be too... depressing, but that was how it turned out. The Lonely Ballerina had finally made an appearance! I kind of liked it. I'm so sorry if it sounded rushed. I wanted to get this out soon. Also, sorry for any mistakes. Comments, suggestions, and constructive criticisms are always welcome. Thank you!

****

Bye and God bless!

~hugz~

J.M


	4. Firsts

**__**

The Lonely Ballerina 

AN: I'm really sorry I haven't updated in like, forever! We went to this month vacation in the Philippines so I didn't have much time to write this chapter. Plus, I have this huge writer's block, which totally sucks, but hopefully, I'm out of my doldrums. I'm really sorry for the long wait. I hope this chapter live up to your expectations guys. I did the best I could. More AN at the end. Please do review. And for those who did, thank you so much! This is for you good people who take the time to read this story. You know who you are. Hope you guys enjoy!

****

Special thanks to Lil Starlight for her email and to chip who liked it too. 

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS or it's characters so don't sue. I bite!

~*

__

~ The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."~

-Footprints-

~*

**__**

Chapter 4: Firsts 

~*

He lost control, and there was nothing he could've done to stop the tears that had trickled down his usually smiling face and falling onto Tomoyo's midnight black mane as he wept on her shoulders earlier that evening. When was the last time he ever cried so... freely? he had to wonder. It was, in all, the lowest, most embarrassing moment of both his past and present lives and he truly despised the fact that he had shown weakness to her. Tomoyo, however, whose whimper he could hear in spite of his loud intake of breaths and the soft background music, had been very understanding despite all that has happened and, who before the night ended, had actually managed a courageous smile for his sake and a friendly hug to go along with it. He was still feeling undignified however - which is pretty natural for someone who hardly loses composure in front of others - but nevertheless he had returned the smile with a sorrowful one.

Maybe it was the mood of their surrounding that made him crumble. Perhaps it was the music. It could also have been the dreamy, magical illusion of the environment. It must've fogged up his head, he reasoned, and sincerely hoped that it was just a malfunction in his system. Then again, maybe it wasn't the music, the mood, or the fog in his head, but he himself. Perhaps it was because he was lonesome no matter how much he convince himself that he isn't. He wasn't certain. He lost control and there was nothing he could've done. He just hoped that it would not affect their relationship with each other for he didn't think he could bare it if he saw her again and find the barrier between them had reconstructed itself. He lost his poise, and he hated it. 

Eriol lie awake in his bed, tossing and turning, sleep far from his reach even though he was totally worn out. He would berate himself even more had he not been as exhausted as he was. But all Eriol could do now was lie on his large bed, covered in thick sheets of blankets with that night's event palying over and over in his mind like a mantra. It had been quite an evening, certainly one of those nights one would want to both remember and forget, and he needs rest, truly he does. 

~*

Tonight's dramatic event hasn't faded from her memory as of yet but she supposed that being, presumably, one of the first few individuals to send the great Hiragizawa Eriol himself practically on his knees begging is enough to make one stay up all night long. What amazed her though is how skilled he was at acting and keeping himself composed most of the night but in a blink of an eye he was on the verge of insanity. Well, it looked insane to her now that she thought of it. Earlier tonight she viewed his actions as needing. Earlier she could feel his hopelessness, and sadness, but now, it all seemed surreal - like one of those soap operas that never end. But of course, his mere facial expression and his husky voice, raw from the unbidden tears that was yet to be shed, wasn't the reason why she had agreed to "let him in", as he had put it, or was it? Maybe it was just pity. Yes, that's probably it, pity. But still, it does not add up at all with what she had felt when he held her, for she sure did not feel sympathy then. It was a different feeling, but what it was she cannot put her finger on. It's all very confusing and it's giving her a headache. She groaned in frustration. Why won't the memory fade?

Let me in, he had said. Please let me in...

Tomoyo swore at him inwardly, something she seldom does, as if it would change anything. He just had to be pitiful, didn't he, to make her lose poise as well. It was all his fault that she had lost the remaining self-control she had. It was all his fault she had wept along with him, though hers were stifled cries while he simply sobbed freely and silently, and it was all his fault that she's unable to close her eyes tonight, forget about everything, and enter the world of slumber. 

Yet she could not find it in herself to be angry with him. He needs to have someone to run into, to confide in, she know that now. In that one brief dance she had seen the true Hiragizawa Eriol - a lost, wandering soul. He was all about solitude with tears and heartbreak as company. Behind that mischievous smirk, those mysterious dark eyes, and unperturbed poise was a man, no, a boy who was as hopeless as she is, looking for comfort in the wrong places. Eriol, no matter how powerful a magician he is, is still human and capable of human emotions even though some may think otherwise. She was the one with him that moment he had let his guard off. She was the one who saw through him albeit unintentionally. He chose her. He chose her to be the one to see him as he is, she knew this, because.... Because what? Knowing Eriol he have to have a reason why he picked her. Her, out of all people. He chose her. Perhaps it was their similarities. Yes, that must be it. And maybe, she too, had let her guard off because deep inside her, she knows he'll understand. Because they know what the other is going through. Because they are similar. Because they hurt. They both ache inside.

Disguise, she mused, they both wear masks and that's what makes them similar. 

Similar but not the same, she added as an afterthought before closing her tired eyes. No, not the same at all. 

~*

Tiny speckles of snowflakes fell from the gloomy winter sky silently, their soft whiteness staining the cold earth, which had yearned their presence for a long period of time now. The sight produced a vague image in her mind of little wingless angels falling on Earth with nothing but the other fallen celestial spirits to greet their arrival. It was rather sad, she mused as she continued to stare at the falling snow. Winter came a tad earlier this year but snow stopped showing up all together by the end of November (save the few speckles that had finally graced the Earth yesterday afternoon), and perhaps she was not expecting for it to come at all that year for it seems like an eternity since she had last seen the familiar white substance covering the brown and red grounds the fall had left the Earth with. But of course she was mistaken for the season will not be complete without it, just like autumn lacking without the leaves of red, orange, and brown falling to the ground nor the summertime without the green grass and the beautiful flowers that blooms in the gardens. No, winter will most definitely be incomplete without the soft, blanket of snow covering the hills and mountains; without the soft whiteness on the lawns and rooftops of houses. Without people covered in thick clothing muttering under their breath about how they hated shoveling. Without the familiar feeling of irritation when one hears the bothersome alarm clock ringing in their ears in the cold winter morning because they want nothing more than to stay in the comfort their warm bed provide them with. Without the warm fire, dancing in the hearth with such enthusiasm that one could not help but be drawn to it. Without half of the population struggling to get to a nearby coffee shop to order themselves a cup while the rest sits in their homes having tea, chatting frivolously about everything and anything or maybe just enjoying the silence the winter brings to one's home. Yes, winter would be incomplete without these things. 

Winter will not be the same without Sakura, Tomoyo added to the growing list. It was, of course, inevitable that she should know by now how to last a week or two without Sakura for in only a few months' time, they are to go to different colleges to pursue their dreams and will not be seeing each other for a span of at least a month or two, maybe even longer, depending on their schedule. It was necessary for her to learn how to live each of her day without her cousin. 

Sakura and Syaoron, as Tomoyo had gathered, were to leave on Monday, the twentieth of December, to spend Christmas in Hong Kong with Syaoron's family and were to return a week after winter break had ended. Tomoyo had already informed the two of them that she will be holding a farewell dinner the night before their departure, tomorrow night to be exact. Sakura had told her profusely that such thing was not necessary (they will be gone for only two weeks or so, she said) but Tomoyo insisted. After all, this is going to be their first Christmas apart since she and Sakura had become almost inseparable, and the least she could do was give Sakura and Syaoron a wonderful night before they leave.

Someone tapped her on her shoulder, breaking her out of her reverie, which was a good thing she believed because she didn't want her thoughts to go on any further. She looked up to see the usual sedate face of Eriol. Last night's events flooded Tomoyo's mind but for some reason, it did not bother her to look at him at all. She was expecting to act, well, uneasy around him after what had happened, and vice versa, but what was happening was the exact opposite. Not that she minded or anything, but it felt rather awkward that they seem to act as if nothing at all has happened, what with Eriol being Mr. Calm and Collected again. It was a big issue for both of them, they are both aware of that, and the thought of pretending that none of the 'unmasking' had occurred was for some reason, maddening to her. It made her feel slightly uncomfortable for some reason.

Nevertheless, Tomoyo smiled warmly and motioned for the other to join her. It was getting pretty dull sitting alone in the half-filled coffee shop and she suppose that some company-even if it's Eriol - would not do any harm. Eriol took a seat on the chair opposite of Tomoyo. A waitress came to their table and Eriol ordered himself a cup of cappuccino. 

"How have you been?" Tomoyo started, looking at Eriol with nothing but a genuine smile. A simple 'good afternoon' would have been fine for Eriol but instantly caught on what Tomoyo had meant. If it had not been for Tomoyo's tone of voice that reflected her concern for him, he would have thought she was making fun of him.

"I'm great. How about you?" answered Eriol in a calm voice.

If he was still unnerved about last night he did a marvelous job keeping his expression impassive but, Tomoyo reminded herself, she should not have expected any internal turmoil to leak out of Hiragizawa's tightly secured mask. 

"Fine, I'm fine."

~*

Eriol, for some unknown explanation, often finds himself in a game of deception, which he usually initiates intentionally or not, with none other than Tomoyo herself. He had to admit that he used to rather enjoy these silly competitions for the mere sight of Tomoyo's wavering confidence in the middle of a match never cease to bring a smile on his face. The key word there is used and this is doubtlessly one of those times but for some reason, he was not as excited about the upcoming battle. If anything, he was actually dreading it. 

"Fine, I'm fine," Tomoyo had replied.

A lie, that's what it was, and Eriol took her answer as the start of another one of their duel, and he was getting pretty exasperated of the ridiculous game she insist on playing. Even if it brings such joy to see Tomoyo falter in the middle of their games, he finds their pleasant conversations much more convenient. Even the childish teasing seems much more appealing to him, even if Tomoyo seemed to be always on the verge of slapping him silly. He knew that she was not doing well at all, so why does she refuse to tell him the truth? Did they not have an agreement last night? H assumed that after all that has happened they would stop the mendacity. Was she afraid he'll think of her weak? Surely she knows him better that that. There was a hush between them as questions after questions entered his mind. Tomoyo averted her eyes from his and stared at her tea while Eriol simply eyed her with an unreadable look which seemed to make her uneasy. The sight reminded him so much of that one uncomfortable moment between them in the school lunchroom not a week ago when he had asked that ludicrous question.

"I noticed Spinel Sun is not with you," Tomoyo, although aware that the guardian is never interested on coming to any of Eriol's appointments (had it been magic related or an emergency, he might have), commented anyway in an attempt to start a conversation that has a safe topic and will hopefully break the tension between them. She once again met his gaze.

"Well," Eriol began, grateful that they had something to talk about other than how they are doing. "Spinel preferred to stay at home and read even though I made a very tempting offer to get him to come." 

"And what would that offer be, if I may ask?" Tomoyo inquired as if she did not already know the answer. She was trying to hide a smirk, though failing miserably. Eriol's serious and theatrically disappointed tone was amusing.

"I told him that dessert's on me."

"Perhaps Kero-chan would fall for that, but certainly not Spinel Sun."

Eriol sighed dramatically as leaned back in his chair. "Tell me something I don't already know. Though, I happen to think that is highly unfortunate. Spinel Sun's cognizance, that is. You cannot fool him and that tends to spoil the fun."

"I think otherwise," Tomoyo grinned. "Not many were blessed with such wisdom after all." 

He nodded in agreement and Tomoyo sipped her tea. There was another long silence as his companion went back on staring at her cup.

"I'm sorry," he said as he leaned on the table, hands loosely clasped together, breaking the quietness that enveloped them. "For last night, I mean."

There it was, out in the open. It would come out sooner or later anyway, he knew that, and he preferred it to be sooner rather than later. It still bothered him, of course, to discuss it but he knew that someone needs to bring the topic up and talk about it and he'd rather be the one to do so. Tomoyo raised her eyes to look at him as he lowered his in attempt to conceal the emotion they may betray.

"There is nothing to be sorry about, Hiragizawa-kun. Nothing at all."

Eriol sighed. Back to formalities, he thought. He cursed inwardly, but he's not complaining. Tomoyo's reply, as Eriol see it, was an insinuation that she is accepting him as a confidante, finally, as she will be to him if he was still up for it - which of course he is - but it also drew a thin line between them that he cannot cross. No first names, he supposed he could live with that for now. 

No words can describe Eriol's relief, although he would not be caught dead wearing such an expression on his face. He still has his reputation to uphold, after all. He just gave her a thankful smile and decided to leave it at that. All is well and forgiven and he was content to leave the matters that way. Maybe it is now possible to get through to her and make her realize that he's there and that he cared even if she believed the contrary. He will, Eriol thought, someday he will tell her so. There was another pregnant pause. The waitress came with Eriol's order. He thanked her and sipped his steaming cappuccino cautiously as to not burn himself. 

"It's really coming down, huh?" he observed as he looked out the frosted window of the cafe.

Tomoyo nodded in silent agreement as she too stared outside. Nobody spoke. 

"I was thinking," she said suddenly facing Eriol, "when Sakura and I were young, we would always make snow angels in my yard. For some reason or another, hers will always be the perfect one no matter how hard I try to make mine as good as hers. Well, not that I expected Sakura's to be anything less."

Eriol, intrigued, nodded as Tomoyo carried on with her tale.

"I remember how I used to always compliment hers and all my snow angel gets from me was a barrage of insults. But not from Sakura. She would say mine was beautiful and perfect like me, but of course, I always deemed that she's just being polite so I would brush the flattery off." She paused momentarily as her eyes glazed over, as if she had completely left reality, which she probably did. "Then afterwards we would make this huge snowman and have snowball fights. I recall this one time when we actually put bunny ears on this one snowman we made," Tomoyo laughed.

Tomoyo smiled serenely as she reminisced about her childhood, and as she did so, Eriol suddenly thought about his. He frowned. There was nothing. There was nothing about being able to play outside in the snow, making snowman and snow angels, or having snowball fights with friends. He couldn't remember a time in his life when he simply had puerile fun, being reckless, and just simply living like a normal kid. His childhood, if one can call it such, only consists of endless reading, playing tunes in his grand piano, evil plots, and being the referee of his guardians' customary bickering, and as much as he hated to admit it, the more he thought of his youth, the more envious he became of Sakura and Syaoron and Tomoyo and of what they had shared.

"And now?" Eriol queried pulling himself out of his sad musings.

Tomoyo's brows furrowed as if the question had never occurred to her before.

"Now," she began, "we've grown up."

The sadness in her voice was not at all hidden as they once again sat in utter stillness. The once bustling coffee shop had toned down and only a few murmurs of the customers and employees alike were heard, along with the soft melody filling the whole cafe.

"Come," Eriol ordered as he stood up from his seat and placing a few yen on the table for his and Tomoyo's orders and the dark-haired girl suddenly found herself being led out of the warm coffee shop and in the cold winter afternoon. 

~*

Nakuru wasn't her usual enthusiastic self that afternoon and as much as Spinel favored her placidity, he cannot help but wonder what had rendered the spirited guardian silent. It was definitely unusual to see Nakuru, the ever so zealous guardian, simply sipping her tea quietly as she sat across from him, looking outside the frosted glass windows, with an imperturbable expression which reminded him awfully of Yue. The look certainly did not suit the lively Akizuki Nakuru. The cat-like guardian glanced at Nakuru from the book he was reading to see her still in the same position she was in several minutes ago. Spinel drank his tea, shrugging, as he returned to his reading. Nakuru is, was, and will always be Nakuru, and it's better to leave her to herself once in a while. She'll talk in due time.

"I was just wondering what we will do this Christmas." 

It was the first time the guardian had spoken that afternoon.

"I don't know," Spinel replied, looking at his companion.

And indeed he didn't. The question suddenly brought memories of the past Christmases they had spent in England. Ever since Spinel could remember, way before the evil plotting against Sakura, holidays in London with his Master, along with Nakuru and Mistress Kaho, had always been quite invigorating. He looks forward to it more often than not and Nakuru apparently shares the same feelings. It was in the way her walk would acquire more bounce to it, evidently that was possible in her case, and the way she would pester their master by inquiring what gift he had bought her, which actually makes Spinel quite embarrassed on Nakuru's behalf. Spinel recalled the huge Christmas tree in the family room of the mansion which they'd all work hard on decorating for hours with Christmas ornaments and ribbons. He of course, will always have the honor of placing the beautiful, silver clad, porcelain angel on top of the tree. He remembered the Christmas holly that adorned the banister of the mansion's grand staircase, the mistletoes Nakuru tries to hang in unexpected places of the house even though nobody really get caught underneath them. The laughter. He actually admitted to himself that he missed those laughter.

But he never saw the Christmas tree, or the mistletoes, or heard the peals of laughter he was so used to hearing this time of year, not since they came back in Tomoeda three years ago.

Nakuru did not reply as she continued to stare outside. Spinel Sun sighed heavily as he mentally rid himself of his thoughts and continued to eye the other guardian, and wondered what could possibly be causing the woman's queer behavior.

"Ruby Moon, what's really the matter?" he asked, concern in his voice.

The auburn-haired female pried her gaze from the window to look at Spinel. She gave him a small, sorrowful smile and said nothing. She turned her gaze to the teacup in her hands. 

"I," Nakuru started, as Spinel once again lifted his cup to his mouth. "I missed my Touya-kun!"

The sun guardian choked on his tea by the others sudden outburst. Or perhaps it was the unexpected change of subject that almost killed him. That's what's bothering her? Here he was worried sick when she didn't as much as give the sweet scones in front of her a glance like she does so everyday and not to mention, questioning if this year's Christmas would be just like the previous two (the last thing that he expected from Ruby), and all the while she was just brooding about that Kinomoto Touya? Although, this only proved his theory and that he had been right, as always. Her behavior last night was merely temporary, and apparently, so was that afternoon's. All that was missing now was her running around and the old loud-and-restless Ruby Moon is back for good.

"Wh-what!" Spinel sputtered. 

"My Touya-kun!" she repeated. "Ooh! I bet that Yue is all over him right now! And here I was actually warming up to him and thinking he was kawaii with those cute glasses that look like Eriol-sama's and all! If I had known that he's going to do this...ooh! You know, I knew something was going on! I just knew it, the minute they decided to ditch me and went in that stupid place, The Music Box, or whatever it was!"

Nakuru was positively fuming in anger. Smoke was practically coming out of her ears as she spat out her jealousy and accusations, depriving Spinel the chance to reprimand her about fretting about such things. 

"And then there's that one time when he just waltz in the room like he didn't know we were talk-"

Nakuru halted abruptly as peals of laughter reached their ears. The sound was muffled by the thick glass window but one can safely assume that it was coming from a girl, from they way it obtained a certain high-pitched ring that only a woman seems capable of. Well, a woman and Nakuru perhaps. Both heads turned to the window, their eyes scanning the snow-covered land that was their backyard. Two pairs of eyes spotted two seemingly ecstatic familiar figures sprawled about the snow covered earth, their feet and arms moving in an enthusiastic rhythm. Upon further inspection, the identities of the two unexpected guests was confirmed by Spinel Sun. A comment from the woman was carried to the guardians' ears followed by an ardent reply from the other figure that resulted yet another laughter from the girl.

Nakuru raised her eyebrows at the sight while Spinel looked on in surprise.

"Huh!" was all Nakuru could utter.

~* 

Tomoyo laughed in pure bliss while she continued to move both her arms and legs simultaneously as she lay with her back on the soft, white snow. Tiny speckles of snowflakes tickled her flushed face as each descends to Earth in perfect timing. The sky was a gloomy color, grayish white with blotches of blue and orange, just like how the winter sky should be. Definitely not a recommended art to gaze at, especially on such a day.

But none of these mattered to Tomoyo at the moment and it seemed like nothing can pull her down from cloud nine as she continued to create her magic. Eriol had taken her to his spacious backyard covered in at least ten inches of snow- well, that's rather exaggerated- and persuaded her to make a snow angel with him. She considered declining his request but the look he gave her hindered her from doing so. How immature he can be at times! So, even with the knowledge that playing in the snow with him may only bring back memories of the olden days, she had agreed and quickly plopped herself down the blanket of endless white and began her masterpiece. 

"You're crazy!" Tomoyo howled.

"Thank you!"

She giggled at the reply. 

Eriol, who abruptly stopped moving his arms and legs, stood up from where he was lying, and whirled around to face his creation with eagerness and enthusiasm that can rival Nakuru's. What greeted him was a pile of snow that was hardly recognizable as a snow angel, or anything else at that matter. He groaned loudly when his eyes were met with the spoiled angel. After minutes of flapping his arms and legs up and down like a bird that cannot fly, this is what he'd get? 

He heard snickering once again from his friend who he realized, figured what had caused the sound of his frustration. Or maybe it was the way his face was twisted in what he guessed must be aggravation and a bit of disappointment. 

"What did you expect?" came Tomoyo's question. 

"Something that is definitely not this," he grumbled, shaking his head sadly to emphasize his dissatisfaction. 

Tomoyo ceased fluttering her arms and legs, chuckling at his comment. "The key to making a perfect snow angel, Hiragizawa-kun, is to have someone pull you up. Otherwise, the imprints of your hands and feet will blemish the potentially taintless outcome of your labor," she said matter-of-factly. 

"Well how was I to know?" Eriol came to his defense. He dusted off his pants, finally able to turn his head away from the devastation that he had created.

Tomoyo laughed, earning a scowl from Eriol as he hovered above her.

"The ever-knowing incarnation of Clow Reed himself, oblivious of how to make a snow angel. There is such thing as a miracle. Or maybe it's just ignorance. Now, pull me up and I'll show you a perfect snow angel," Tomoyo boasted, raising both her hands up to him.

Eriol rolled his eyes playfully, purposely ignoring the pun as he scoffed at her pretension. "Perfect. Yeah, right."

Taking her awaiting gloved hands, he gently pulled the girl up to her feet. She quickly dusted herself off with a triumphant smile on her pretty face and turned her gaze to her magnum opus. Indeed, it was perfect and even Eriol had to admit that to himself. Well, nearly perfect. A few excess snowflakes scattered at the left wing of the angel, making it rather unclear, but nonetheless the rest of the creation was flawless. So Daidouji-san was telling him the truth after all. 

"It's not perfect Daidouji-san," Eriol remarked, pointing at the wing to support his judgment. 

He was still unwilling to admit that Tomoyo had proved him wrong, although he did have a point. Her creation was not entirely perfect as she would've preferred it to be but she managed to retrain herself from flopping back down on her back and fixing the little damage. How egotistical of you Hiragizawa-kun, Tomoyo laughed inwardly while brushing the comment aside and for once, not at all upset that she had done something marred, her being so strict about doing everything as perfect as possible.

"A simple flaw is all." She paused. "Jealous?"

"What an absurd suggestion my lady!" Eriol exclaimed dramatically which made the dark-haired beauty roll her large blueberry eyes. "Me? Jealous? Never!"

"Eyes do not lie Hiragizawa-kun. After all, they're the windows to a person's soul."

"Perhaps," he said after a brief pause. Slowly, he leaned towards Tomoyo. Warnings in big, bold, red letters emerged in her mind, telling her that to flee from Hiragizawa, but she didn't heed the caution. Which, of course, was a fatal mistake, as she would soon find out when Eriol softy whispered in her ear, "But I'm a different case all together."

His close proximity made her somewhat uncomfortable but she quickly quenched the feeling that was rising within her. This is only Hiragizawa, after all, so why should she feel uneasy?

Well, aside from the fact that he can read you like an open book and all but dragged you to a place you'd rather not enter and rendering you helpless to refuse his request with his pathetic pleading not a day ago and the fact that he scares you out of your wits when he shows up at the most unexpected time and place, nothing really should make you feel so perplexed when he's only a few inches, no scratch that, centimeters away from you, with his breath tickling your ne-

Alright! Tomoyo cut off the annoying voice at the back of her mind before it can go on any further.

Okay, so there's plenty of things Eriol had done in the past to make his closeness an agony for her part but they had an understanding now and with it comes the risk of being too close to the magician. Well, emotionally close maybe, but not physically and this is definitely physical.

However, even with these things in mind, she hadn't the strength to step back from him. Or maybe she didn't want to back away. He was way too close for comfort. Too close. Way too close...

"H-how so?" she croaked, and immediately hated herself for showing him that the small distance that separated them affected her so.

Finally he decided to straightened up, hands clasped together behind him. He smiled that enigmatic grin she knew all too well, but did not utter a single word.

That's it? Tomoyo thought. He's just going to leave me hanging? She was about to reply something when Eriol once again beat her to it.

"I think, you know."

She tilted her head slightly in obvious confusion. She did?

"Well," she cleared her throat, which seemed to have gone suddenly dry, and expertly thinking up a good comeback quickly. "Obviously I wasn't informed of this awareness."

"That's too bad then, is it not?"

"Then, enlighten me," she said crossing her arms in front of her, mimicking what he had said to her in the cafeteria earlier that week.

She was expecting silence or maybe a small agitated sigh, or maybe even anxiety (obviously it was next to impossible to make Eriol uncomfortable especially with a question he can simple ignore, but she's not losing hope) but certainly not a laugh. A mirthful chuckle that once again sent her to the dark side of this ridiculous conversation.

"You," he chuckled, "have a very good memory."

So he remembered. Tomoyo felt herself blush slightly. Because she recalled his every word or because he caught her, she wasn't sure, but for once thankful that her face was already flushed from the cold.

"Come on," he said after he had composed himself. He gestured towards the tinted, sliding glass doors that can only lead to the kitchen of the huge mansion. 

Eriol turned around and started for the house while Tomoyo had this sudden strange urge to do something she had not done in years. Her mother would definitely not consent to this but the urge was just too much to bear. 

Oh well, Tomoyo sighed, I suppose there's only one thing to do. And it wasn't long before a silent "flop!" disturbed the winter winds. Bullseye! 

"Yes!" Tomoyo cheered silently as a very surprised Eriol ("Blast! A Kodak moment!" Tomoyo thought) whirled around to face the mischievous expression that she held on her porcelain face. 

So it wasn't impossible for her to surprise him after all. And it wasn't long before the two were engaged in a very wet snowball fight. One large snowball from Eriol were answered by two of the same size courtesy of Tomoyo who, to his complete surprise, was not as fragile - or as firm and ladylike for that matter - as she appeared to be right at that moment. He supposed that years of playing snowball fights with her cousin had taught the girl a thing or two.

A smile was on Eriol's face as they continued to barrage each other with their 'weapons'. It was a great feeling for the magician. Never in his life had he imagined throwing 'death', as Spinel sometimes referred to it, at each other could be so... exhilarating. It was an alien feeling of excitement, bliss, and a desire to be violent and vengeful yet not so much as to have the right to be called brutal or barbaric all blended in one sensation that nobody had even thought of naming just yet. Adrenaline was coursing through his veins along with the sense of something so great that only he, and perhaps Daidouji-san, could possibly understand that very moment. 

For the first time in a very long while, Eriol felt free as a bird in flight. For the first time, he was heedless. And for the first time ever, the great incarnation of Clow Reed himself, had experience the wonders of being a kid.

~*

Ruby Moon's facial expression went from seriously thoughtful to menacingly naughty so rapidly that even Spinel Sun didn't have enough time to react. However, as much a relief the mood swing brought to the sun guardian, he cannot help but feel a sense of foreboding at the sight that was gracing his now wide-open eyes. Ruby's amber eyes glinted mischievously which only added to poor Spinel Sun's growing fear of things that was yet to come. Then, the proposition will ensue, Spinel concluded miserably. He simply knew Ruby Moon too well to know what was next. Oh, how cruel the fates can be! Curse the day that Akizuki Nakuru was created! 

"Suppi-chan, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked the moon guardian, her eyebrows moving up and down suggestively. Again, this only further emphasized how knowledgeable he is with Nakuru.

"Oh, no. No way Ruby!" the cat-like creature admonished, his dark little head shaking vigorously in renunciation. There is no way she's getting in between this, he wouldn't let her. she would have to go through his dead, furry body first. Well, that's overdoing it, he supposed, but there is no way he's going to let her get in between this situation. She'll ruin it for sure!

"But look at Eriol-sama!" reasoned Nakuru, pointing at their master who was enjoying the ever so wet and cold looking duel that very minute. "It's perfect!"

"And you meddling with it will only ruin the relationship."

"But-"

"No," Spinel stated firmly. "I will not have you go and play matchmaker, especially with Master and his innocent friend. Really Ruby, how malicious can you get?"

Nakuru looked hurt. "It's not like I'll do it for my benefit. I just want Eriol-sama to be as happy as he used to be. I just wanted us to celebrate Christmas again the way we used to. Is that so wrong?"

Spinel couldn't say anything, but then again, how do you come back to that?

~*

Soaking wet from head to foot and finally realizing the harsh coldness of winter, Eriol and Tomoyo, exhausted from their long-fought duel, had at last decided to call it quits and entered the mansion through the glass door that connected the backyard to the kitchen, to warm their tired frozen body. The tepid air that greeted them as they entered the house felt nice on their cold skin. 

"Eriol-sama, you're here!" Nakuru, who appeared out of nowhere, pounced at them as soon as they entered the house. "And you brought Tomoyo-chan too! Oh, this is so exciting!"

"Ruby, you're going to choke poor Daidouji-san to death if you keep that up," Spinel warned Nakuru, who currently have the amethyst-eyed girl in her steely embrace.

"It's nice to see you too Akizuki-san, Spinel-san," Tomoyo replied, nodding at Spinel with a soft smile while returning Nakuru's deadly hug.

Eriol, who had been watching with amusement, had finally got the decency to clear his throat to get everyone's attention. Which it did, unfailingly, as Nakuru (front dress soaking wet courtesy of Tomoyo) finally let go of the poor girl and turned to face him with Spinel and Daidouji following suit.

"Thank you Nakuru. Kindly show Daidouji-san to your room and give her some warm clothing while I prepare tea," he ordered.

Nakuru squealed, "Will do Master! Come on Tomoyo-chan!" as she pulled the girl by the hand and lead her to the room she shared with Spinel.

"I really appreciate this Akizuki-san," Eriol vaguely heard Tomoyo say as they ascend to the grand staircase.

"Oh, you're way too polite Tomoyo-chan, I feel so old! Call me Nakuru ok?"

"Oh, umm... alright."

Eriol smiled as he made his way towards the stove, taking the kettle Nakuru have used earlier to prepare hers and Spinel's tea to the sink and filled it with water. After setting it back on the stove and turning the appliance on, he made his way to the grand marble staircase as well to change out of his sopping wet clothes. 

He passed Nakuru's bedroom as he made his way to his room noting the door slightly ajar and for a quick moment had the huge urge to peek in. He didn't fight the temptation however as he peered inside, the fact that he might actually stumble into something he has neither the interest nor intention, for that matter, to see, obliterated from his nosy mind. He heard a high-pitched giggle that can only be traced to Nakuru, followed by a polite, silent laugh from none other than Daidouji Tomoyo. The unclosed door didn't provide him much view of the room for all he could see from his spot was part of the ceiling-to-floor window of the chamber. 

"Oh, this is absolutely wonderful!" Nakuru cried, suddenly filling Eriol's view as she danced around with a fancy, sparkling red dress in her hands.

Tomoyo's polite giggle once again escaped the door and entered his ears. "Yes, it's absolutely beautiful, but, do you happened to have a more homey attire, Akizuki-san?"

For a fleeting moment, Eriol was rather embarrassed by his creation's lack of common sense. Who would want to dress up in a cocktail dress at a weather (not to mention on such common occasion) like this? He saw Nakuru bowed her head in disappointment and heard her sigh, but all was replaced rather quickly with another enthusiastic grin and a careless shrug of the shoulder.

"Oh well. I didn't think you'd go for it anyway. But if you're looking for something comfortable, I just have the thing!"

"Domo arigato gozaimasu, Akizuki-san," Tomoyo replied.

"Nakuru, Tomoyo-chan, Nakuru!"

"As you wish, Nakuru-chan," the dark haired girl replied uncertainly.

"Ooh! I love how you said that!"

Eriol, having had enough 'girl talk' for one day, finally proceeded to his bedroom before he was discovered spying on the two women.

Opening the door to his walk-in closet, he nonchalantly entered the wardrobe and pulled out the first sweater and a pair of jeans he had gotten his hands on. After stripping off his drenched clothes, he quickly dried himself with one of the towels he found, conveniently enough, stacked neatly by his summer shorts, and slipped on the soft, gray sweater and the dark blue jeans. Unconsciously reaching out for his glasses and drying them with his sweater, he went in search for a pair of socks, which he found immediately even without the help of his spectacles. Putting on the socks and slipping into a pair of slippers (also shoved in his closet by his shoes to his surprise), Eriol gathered the soaked garments he had discarded a few moments ago on the floor and threw it inside his laundry bin on his way out.

Spinel Sun was in the act of turning off the stove when he reached the kitchen as the kettle whistled loudly. Eriol smiled gratefully at his sun guardian as he approached one of the cupboards and pulled out a teapot and some teacups. He was stopped, however, while on the verge of taking out a third teacup by Spinel.

"We've had our tea for the afternoon, Eriol-sama. There is no need."

"Are you sure?" Eriol queried, right hand still shoved in the cupboard.

"I'm sure."

Eriol nodded, finally drawing back his hand after finding two saucers and a tray.

"The scones are over at the table if you want them, Master. Ruby hardly touched it."

"Thank you Spinel Sun," he returned, busy preparing the hot tea to speculate about what Spinel had said.

Adding the cinnamon stick inside the teapot with the tea itself, Eriol made to go for the kettle of hot water when Tomoyo entered the spacious kitchen with Nakuru behind her. He smiled warmly at her and she did the same.

"Isn't she beautiful Master?" Nakuru purred, dragging Tomoyo to his side. He turned to face Tomoyo, stuffed in a blue cashmere sweater and white skirt that hung above her knees, and studied her from head to foot before commenting. 

"Yes, she's very lovely Nakuru," he replied, giving Tomoyo another sincere glance. Had it not been for her already flushed face, Eriol would've thought he just made the queen of mask herself blush. He shook his head slightly as if to rid of the thought.

"I'm surprised Ruby hadn't force you in some stuffy outfit like a doll, Daidouji-san," Spinel drawled, snuggling on Tomoyo's shoulder. 

Tomoyo smiled and caressed Spinel's ear affectionately as the tiny cat-like creature purred in contentment. The sight was mild to the eyes, like a mother caring for her child, and for some reason unknown to him, Eriol envied his creation for being able to cuddle with Tomoyo like he is now. 

This is absurd, he thought, slightly irritated as he forced himself to tear his gaze from them and back to pouring the hot water in the teapot.

"For you're information, Suppi-chan, I picked that outfit myself," Nakuru boasted. "And, Tomoyo-chan agreed to wear it. Isn't that right Tomoyo-chan?"

The cat-like guardian glared at Nakuru for the use of the hated nickname. The purple eyed girl giggled at their little show.

"Alright you two," Eriol chuckled. "That's enough."

Nakuru stuck her tongue out at Spinel, then grabbing him from their guest's shoulder, run out of the kitchen. Tomoyo followed them with her eyes until they disappeared in the corner before turning her gaze back to Eriol who was waiting patiently with a tray in his hands. 

"Do you need help with that?" she asked.

"Oh, no, I'm fine Daidouji-san. Thank you for the offer," he smiled at her while walking past her and headed for the common room, which was located just across the hall from the kitchen. "Would you mind grabbing the scones at the table?"

"Not at all," she said, grabbing the plate of sweet pastries from the table, and hurriedly followed his trail. She had been there once before when Nakuru had invited her and Sakura over for tea sometime ago, but even so, she had not forgotten how the room looked like. A sheer, lightweight material serves as a barrier between the hallway and the door to the little chamber. She observed the life-like paintings of wonderful sceneries still covered the whitewashed walls of the room as she entered, and the fireplace at the far corner of the room provided the warmth and the only light in the room. Only two large, comfortable looking armchairs sat in the middle of the room now with a small center table separating the furniture. Other than that, Tomoyo hadn't noticed any changes in the room. 

The blue-eyed boy set the tray on the center table as she did the same with the scones. He motioned for her to take a sit on the gray armchair while he settled himself on the sofa opposite hers. Tomoyo's eyes wandered around the small, dimly lit room before they landed on the glass window that viewed the outside. Lacy curtains made of transparent materials covered most of the window, but one can still behold the scene that goes on outside the confines of the huge mansion.

"Is Earl Gray alright?" Eriol spoke so softly as if afraid to break her reverie or the muteness that enveloped them while he set a teacup for himself and his guest and filling it with tea. Tomoyo turned to him.

"Yes, that would be lovely," she answered, smiling slightly.

Her companion nodded and poured the liquid in her teacup.

"I hope you don't mind that I put cinnamon. I found out that contribute a rather exotic taste to the tea."

"Oh, I don't mind at all, Hiragizawa-kun. I, myself love cinnamon in my tea. Arigato gozaimashita," she thanked him as he placed the cup of tea in front of her.

He smiled at her acknowledgement. 

"Honey, right?" he questioned, while opening the bottle of honey he had put in the tray.

"Yes please. How did you know?" she asked, a little taken aback.

"You, my lady, are not the only perceptive creature in this house," he teased, earning an adorable little scowl from her. "Keep in mind three of us are crammed in this residence."

"I'm aware of that," she replied. "I'm simply, shocked, you actually remember what I put in my tea. Should I be flattered?"

"Very. I don't really memorize how others like their tea," he returned teasingly as he set the open bottle of honey near Tomoyo. 

"That's very comforting," she said sardonically, restraining herself from rolling her blueberry eyes. Slowly, she took a tiny scoop of the golden honey and added it to her tea. Eriol declined when she offered him some of the sweet substance. 

"I prefer lemon in mine," declared Eriol as he dropped a small piece of dried lemon for flavor.

She cleared her throat, stirring her drink as she did so. "Well, what made me so special?"

The latter took a sip from his drink carefully as to not burn himself. He once again gave her a secretive smile that only told her he knew something she obviously don't. 

"I have my reasons, Daidouji-san," Eriol told her mysteriously.

"Don't we all?" she asked smartly, acquiring a small, throaty chuckle from her companion. 

"Daidouji-san," the magician sighed, setting his teacup and saucer down on the table, "witty as always."

"I try," she shrugged nonchalantly as she took a sip of her drink and placed it on the table as well.

The two of them sat in comfortable silence afterwards, both quietly sipping their drink and apparently avoiding each other's gazes. Tomoyo cleared her throat politely once again.

"Hiragizawa-kun?" she said carefully to Eriol who seemed to be in his own little world at that moment.

"Yes?" he answered with a small shake of his head, as he came crashing back to reality.

"I," she started, but stopped abruptly, seemingly struggling to say what she wanted to say.

"Yes?" Eriol asked again, now very curious of the way Tomoyo was acting.

She started fiddling with her silver necklace nervously as she stayed frustratingly quiet. The sight would've been quite amusing, if not adorable, like a small child in futile endeavor to find the right words to say, had it been someone other than Tomoyo who have the knack for pulling some clever retort out of nowhere. Not that it was the first time she had been uncomfortable around him because he usually receive a rise from her whenever he wants to, but it was somewhat bizarre that she's perplexed when he hasn't done anything to make such. Whatever she wanted to say must be big to make her lose face. 

"Well," she tried again, this time ostensibly attempting to be brave. "I just wanted to ask for a small favor."

A favor. So that's what's bothering her, Eriol thought as Tomoyo continued nervously.

"If that's alright with you, Hiragizawa-kun, I completely understand if you'd-"

"Daidouji-san," Eriol intervened in her anxious rambling. "Of course I will."

Tomoyo stopped and looked up to meet Eriol's earnest blue orbs and for the first time, let her guard down and flushed. Daidouji Tomoyo, contender to the master of disguised himself, blushed a precious shade of pink. And didn't care. For once, she didn't care about being exposed. For once, she didn't concern herself about losing front. For the second time, she permitted Eriol a glance of what she truly is without a fight. She knew it, and she understood that Eriol did too by the expression on his face that seemed to ask "why?"

Minutes went by with the two of them just looking through each other's eyes, exchanging words known only to them, but Tomoyo can't stay like this all afternoon and Eriol as well apparently. Se hadn't even finished when Eriol butted in and offered his help. 

Another clearing of the throat broke the silence as Tomoyo tore her gaze from Eriol. 

"Be," she started hesitantly, suddenly finding her pale hands interesting, "be at my house tomorrow, Hiragizawa-kun. I have invited Sakura and her family along with Syaoron for dinner. I want you to be there."

Eriol's eyes widened slightly as her request sunk in. Why would she want him there? was the first question that popped in his slightly confused mind. However, he's not objecting. As Tomoyo had said, they all have their reasons. He didn't contemplate about the matters further. If Dadouji-san wanted him to be there, he will. He felt oblige to do so as a confidant.

"Your wish is my command, my lady," he replied with a slight mocking bow to lighten up the mood. Which it did, when a soft giggle came from the latter.

The rest of the afternoon was spent in idle chit chat about everything that both of them feels safe to talk about, until Tomoyo decided that it was time to take her leave. Nakuru, who was engrossed with her cooking a few minutes ago, had begged the girl to stay for dinner, but the lady declined. Tomoyo already felt like she had overstayed and she didn't want them to think that she's being rude for remaining for far longer than she's welcomed to. After asking the moon guardian about her hr clothes, she quickly went for the comfort room and changed.

"I'm really sorry, but I must get going," apologized Tomoyo as she slipped in her dried jacket.

"But I would really like you to stay Daidouji-san!" Nakuru whined, accepting the borrowed clothes the girl was returning.

"I'm very sorry, Nakuru-chan," she responded, giving an apologetic smile to the two of them. "Maybe some other time."

"It was nice seeing you Daidouji-san," the cat-like creature said.

"You as well. Thank you Spinel Sun, Nakuru-chan," she gave the two of them a small bow and proceeded to the front door where Eriol was waiting for her. She took a deep breath before approaching him. He turned to her with a smile.

"Thank you for the tea, Hiragizawa-kun."

"You're welcome."

"Well," she began, "I must be going. My ride is here."

Tomoyo gave him a slight bow before slipping out the door, but was stopped by Eriol's hand holding her back.

"Hiragizawa-kun?" she asked, confusion clouding her mind.

"Thank you. Thank you for today," he said uncertainly. 

She smiled, catching on what he had meant. She patted his right hand that still covered her left softly, before gently prying her hand from his. And with that, she walked out the Hiragizawa manor. Bits of snow fell from above and onto her, but not as strong as it did earlier while she walked away from the mansion.

"Tomoyo," she heard him say quietly as if it was not meant for anyone to hear, and almost rueful that she had thought it was simply her imagination running wild. 

She smiled despite herself as she walked slowly towards the black limousine that was waiting for her outside. It was nice hearing Hiragizawa say her name once more, even if it turns out to be just her imagination. It was strange and alien, but pleasant. 

"Arigato," she whispered to herself, "Eriol."

And almost wished that he had somehow heard her.

~*

AN: Finally done! Yes, I am disappointed with the ending of this chapter myself. I thought it started out nicely. I liked the beginning, but towards the end, it just all came crashing down. So sorry to disappoint you guys. I just really wanted to get this chapter out. It took longer than I expected. Stupid writer's block! Before I go though, I feel the need to explain the chapter title. "Firsts", I know is an unusual title, but I thought it fit the chapter because in this part of the story, Eriol had experienced fun (for the lack of a better term) for the 'first' time and Tomoyo not caring if she was exposed for the 'first' time. I think you get what I mean. I got the whole story somewhat in my head. After doing a lot of thinking and changing things I finally settled on what's going to happen. The title seemed to have lost its significance in the story after I've changed practically everything from my original plan, but, I tried to squeeze it somewhere still in the story so I guess it hasn't lost it's meaning in the fic totally. Now if I could just have the time and inspiration. Thank you for bearing with me! I know it's slow, but I'm really glad you guys still read this. Pardon the countless blunder, I tried my best at editing. Please click the review button and tell me how it is. Comments and constructive criticisms are welcome. Thank you so much!!!

Bye and God Bless you guys!

~JM~


	5. Rock Bottom

**_The Lonely Ballerina_**

AN:  First of all I would like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed the fourth chapter of this story.  I'm glad and eternally grateful for those who have stuck with the story and have taken the time to read it.  The compliments and such had really made my day.  Hopefully this chapter will be as enjoyable (as it can be) as the last one.  After 2 years of no update.... my gosh.... so sorry you guys!!!! 

For my sister, because she's awesome.

Disclaimer:  CCS and its characters belong to CLAMP/Kodansha and other companies who are lucky and rich enough to afford them.  Everything that's used in this fic was borrowed, so please don't sue me!  Oh, Iron Chef don't belong to me either -;;;.  Though I wish they did.  Be awesome having professional chefs prepare my meals in an hour.  

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child.     I love u and I would never leave you.  During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

-Footprints-

**_Chapter 5:  Rock Bottom_**

She watched, face pressed against the cold glass of her bedroom window, as snowflakes fell from the sky like rain, coating everything with another layer of white blanket of coldness.  She had not seen this much snow in such a long while, she had almost forgotten how beautiful it looked.  Everything outside seemed so... pure, every fiber of imperfection stripped from every molecule, leaving all things immaculate, even holy.  The way each snowflake made its descent to the Earth can take one's breath away, for each flake seemed wistful that it had to leave the heavens so suddenly.  She unexpectedly recalled the same exact thought that had flooded her mind earlier that day.  Indeed, snowflakes do resemble wingless angels, falling silently on the ground where they can mourn the loss of a home, a friend, or a lover.  The loss of one's self.  It was rather tragic and she couldn't help but relate to it.  She gently pressed her small hands against the window, yearning the touch of coldness against her warm skin.  To catch the falling angels.  To descend along with them.  To mourn with them.  Because it helps to mourn with others, really it does.  At least that way, you're not alone.  Yet, a part of her wanted to be alone, because then, no one would know your pain.  No one would pity you.  Because no matter how much they say they understood what you're going through, they really don't.  Not the way that _you_ do.

Tomoyo's eyes slowly traveled to the snow-covered ground that was their garden, stained with hues courtesy of the different colored Christmas lights that adorned the entire exterior of their  mansion, like an artwork which requires coloration and shades as if it were off to some grand art museum where critical comments were anticipated and praises were very much welcome.  For Tomoyo, it was as if it were so.  The so-called artwork was obviously mundane, however, simply a whole mess of hue blended together to create something close to a piece of art (though not quite), and the girl doubt that any museum would be willing to display such work.  It most definitely wasn't the work of Michael Angelo.  The best it can hope for is mild criticism and even those are rarely given these days as far as Tomoyo was concerned.  But then again, art is all about self-expression. 

Shaking her head as if to rid of these thoughts, she pried herself away from the window and headed to her private bathroom, glancing quickly at the miniscule clock atop her palatial fireplace.  It was thirty minutes past eleven o'clock and she must really be getting some rest.  She has a big day tomorrow, and goodness knows she'll need her strength to keep her nerves under control.  She usually worked pretty laudable under pressure- a feat that many cannot accomplish except maybe those Iron Chefs on TV, she thought- but under the circumstances such as tomorrow evening… well, she's simply apprehensive that she will not be able to keep her wits about her, which would be just absolutely horrific considering that depressing and worrying Sakura-chan on the last night they will spend together that year is the last thing she'll need.  So perhaps that's why she asked Hiiragizawa-kun to be there.  For emotional support and all that... But then again, maybe she's just being friendly.  After her nightly routine of brushing her teeth and her hair, she sauntered to bed. 

Tomoyo dreamt of a certain girl that night.  The charming grin that had always haunted her was again present, soft auburn tresses gently caressing her face, and eyes of emerald shinning with bliss, there was no denying that Sakura was an epiphany.  Yet, she was drifting, Tomoyo noticed, not being swept off her feet like her other countless dreams before.  She was slowly drifting away from her and as much as she tried to run after her, she too was slowly being pulled away.  Like a magnet being attracted to metal, they were both being pulled at two opposite directions and Tomoyo could do nothing to stop the space from expanding before her eyes.

Tomoyo woke up early the next day, but she vaguely remembered the dream.

            When it had gone completely out of hand, she wasn't quite sure, but it had been chaotic for the past few hours for her to tell.  For once her mother was home, which actually surprised her somewhat being that Sonomi had never been the kind to miss work.  Tomoyo figured her mother probably knew that she will not be able to handle all the cleaning up and decorating and rearranging that still needed to be done for tonight's dinner with the Kinomotos, not to mention the Christmas Eve party that her mother was holding this year, which Tomoyo wasn't really looking forward to.

           For as long as Tomoyo can remember, she and her mother had always either held or gone to countless extravagant- and somewhat boring- parties every Christmas Eve, except once a few years ago when they were invited and had a bit more of a quieter night with the Kinomoto's.  It wasn't the first time that they had received an invitation from them, but it was the first time that Daidouji Sonomi actually accepted it.  Tomoyo believed that her mother's irritation towards her former teacher for stealing her cousin, Nedeshiko, was the sole reason why she had rejected the previous invitations before.  She could tell, although her mother had never said a word, that she loved Nedeshiko's children nonetheless, and perhaps have come to accept their father as well (though Tomoyo wasn't quite sure about that still).

           Tomoyo quickly glanced at her watch.  It was already 2:15 in the afternoon, yet she still has the living room to clean and the dining room to set.  She did have helpers, but the three of them simply cannot seem to go on.  They've been working since the break of dawn and they simply had no more strength left in them.  Tomoyo had never worked this hard before, except maybe those few times she decided to procrastinate and do her school projects at the last minute or when she tried taking responsibility all of three game booths-finding volunteers to watch over the booths were a hassle enough- and coming up with the girls' outfits for the fashion show at last year's school festival.  It still puzzled her how, after almost four days of cleaning up the house, that they still had this much to do.  She supposed they would've been done ages ago had her mother decided not to have spring cleaning in the middle of winter- not to mention changing her mind about where to put the furniture for it took ages for the maids to finally place them where it pleased Sonomi- and sent them to straighten up their attic.  She, like her helpers no doubt, feels no need for such thing because Sakura's family would never set eyes upon the room, but her mother insisted.  So now, Tomoyo was stuck inside the house, suffering along with her helpers, who were now rendered speechless as they arranged little trinkets that she'd never set eyes on until now.  Speaking, they had discovered, took too much energy, which they happen to be lacking at the moment.   

Most of their housemaids had been running to and fro as Sonomi barked orders at them (which can be heard all the way to the attic).  Tomoyo's mother rarely loses patience.  Well, perhaps that's stretching it too much, because the woman is rather impatient, but she hardly ever yells at anyone (except maybe Kinomoto-sensei, but it had been ages since she'd done that); she does, however has the tendency to intimidate everyone with her strained, calm voice and deadly glare when she's livid.  However, the cool façade was broken today, Tomoyo noticed as her mother seemed to make a big deal out of every little mistake and making the maids foul up with all her roaring.  Perhaps it was just fatigue that was getting to her.  Sonomi was never the level-headed (or quiet for that matter) woman when she's tired, after all.

           The young mistress apparently received those genes from her mother as one of the girl's helpers stole a glance at Tomoyo who was currently abusing an old wardrobe that refused to open.  Yes, Tomoyo was indeed tired.  Growling in frustration, she stepped away from the cabinet, barely able to restrain herself from kicking the wooden door of the closet.  She was getting irritated and an irate Tomoyo is never good.  Not that any of the maids had seen their mistress in a rampage, but that just makes it that much dangerous.  Sighing impatiently, Tomoyo asked Aso-san, the one closest to her at the moment, to open the "blasted wardrobe" for her.

           Abruptly, the older woman dropped what she was doing and approached the harassed closet.  Standing on her tiptoes, she easily unfastened the tiny hook attached to a metal clasp that was several inches above the silver handles and pulled it open.

           "There you go, Miss," the maid replied kindly.

           "Umm… thank you," Tomoyo, feeling slightly ashamed, managed to say.

           Aso-san bowed and gave her a small smile before going back to boxing little objects.  Tomoyo inspected the inside of the closet.  Various sizes of colorful dresses were jammed inside, all too small to fit Tomoyo's frame.  But she remembered them nonetheless.  She had thought that her mother had thrown them away ages ago, or at least given them away when she had grown out of them, but Tomoyo never thought she kept them.  Her mother was never the sentimental kind, as far as she could tell, and keeping memorabilia such as these for reminiscing never struck her as something her Okaa-san would do.  But then again, the woman _is _full of surprises. 

She pulled out a simple yellow sleeveless dress, made with a soft material with yellow ribbons serving as straps and tiny white flowers embroidered at the bottom of the skirt.  She had worn this before at a party when she was about five years old.  She didn't quite remember whose party it was that she and her mother attended, but it was a birthday celebration she recalled.  Her mother had a picture of the two of them in that very same gathering and sitting underneath a cherry tree.  She vaguely remembered how impatient she had been while someone took the picture.  Her mother had pulled her to the side just as she was about to play hide-and-seek with her newly found friends and asked her to take that one shot with her.  It was spring; she hadn't forgotten how beautiful the cherry blossoms looked as they descend to earth.  She remembered laughter; innocent, jovial laughter and squeals of kids including her own, and singing too.  Yes, there was singing.

           "Walking down memory lane, Daidouji-san?"

           Tomoyo came crashing back to reality.  Turning, she wasn't surprised to come face to face with none other that Hiiragizawa Eriol.  Flustered to have gotten caught at such a moment of recollection, she resorted to the only thing she could think of; she turned away.  She took her time putting back the dress, straightening up invisible creases and buying herself a few seconds to gather up her thoughts.

           Hiiragizawa have always had the perfect timing, she thought sarcastically.  Once she had gotten over her initial shock, she wheeled about and faced the ever-smiling face of Eriol.

           "I'm very sorry to interrupt your little daydream, my lady, but I am a man of mission," he teased, grinning like a Cheshire cat.  Tomoyo couldn't help but smile at his antics.

           "Oh, is that so?" she replied, trying to act as indifferent as possible.  "And what would that mission be, if I may ask?"

           "Why to relieve the fair maiden from all this evil housework, of course."

           Tomoyo's helpers couldn't hide their chuckles as the scene unfolded before them.  How lovely it was to see Mistress Tomoyo… flirting with her little friend.  It was a very adorable, Kodak moment but the giggles had ruined it.  For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, Tomoyo almost colored in embarrassment.  Almost.  Quickly apologizing to her two other companions, she excused herself and Eriol and led her unexpected visitor downstairs.

           "I'm so very sorry for the appearance of our home Hiiragizawa-kun, but I believe I told you that dinner starts at seven, not three in the afternoon.  We weren't exactly prepared for your early arrival."

           "Oh!  Daidouji-san, did you think I came early for the sole purpose of beating XiaoLang to the sake?" he asked, feigning hurt at the girl's insinuation.

           Tomoyo gave the look that confirmed he was right on target.

           "Why I'm insulted!" he cried in flawless English- with a hint of British accent which Tomoyo secretly found adorable- mirth in his silver-blue eyes.  "After I've told you of my mission, you still believe I have other ulterior motives?"

           "Exactly," she replied bluntly.  "Really Hiiragizawa-kun, that's very kind of you but I have no time to go out and chit-chat with you this afternoon, no matter how tempting the offer.  Have you seen the condition our house is in right now?  There are simply too many things needed to be done-"

           "Whoever said I plan on taking you out?" the other queried innocently, interrupting the girl.  Tomoyo raised an inquisitive eyebrow.  "I merely wanted to help you out with your… err… spring cleaning Daidouji-san."

           "Oh," was all Tomoyo could utter after a moment of silence.

           "Unless, of course you want to go out with me _that _bad, then maybe we could work something out for tomorrow," he said suggestively, eyes twinkling naughtily.

           "Shu-shut up Hiiragizawa!" stuttered Tomoyo, which reminded him so much of XiaoLang.  He laughed.  A few moments of silence reigned as the girl avoided eye contact with him.

            "Yes, so as I was saying, I just stopped by to see if you needed help with anything.  I apologize for showing up unannounced.  I knew you would insist I stay put if I told you I was coming," he explained.  "And believe me, you do need some assistance, Daidouji-san.  All the  residents of your house looked like they've been up since dawn."

            "We were," Tomoyo confirmed.

            "Well, you see that's exactly what I mean.  You certainly could use a helping hand.  Setting up the place, cleaning… cooking?  I am a skilled chef, I'll have you know."

            "You don't say?" she couldn't quite disguise the laughter in her voice nor the smile that spread across her face.

            "Why, of course.  And unlike Ruby, I put other ingredients in my recipes other than sugar."

            Tomoyo stared thoughtfully at him for a moment.  "Well, we do need desert…"

            Eriol laughed.

           Syaoron, looking a thousand times perturbed than he did when dinner was served, asked for a few minutes of Tomoyo's time and excusing himself from the others, having the need to talk to Daidouji about "something", which none of them ever got to find out what exactly.  Sakura immediately got worried at Syaoron's words and started asking questions.  The boy assured her that nothing is the matter and that somewhat eased her worrying.  Tomoyo, who was in the middle of a conversation with her cousin, stood up and excused herself from her best friend.

           Syaoron allowed her to lead the way as he followed, going over the speech he was planning on reciting in front of Tomoyo in his head for the umpteenth time.  He's forgotten a few lines, he knew he did, because it sounded like a disaster in his head.

           Kami-sama, it sounded so much better on paper last night, he though miserably and briefly regretted that he didn't bring the blasted piece of paper with him.  He entered the room that Tomoyo had led him to, and realized that it was her movie room.  It was deprived of Christmas ornaments unlike the rest of the house.  It seemed awfully lonely to Syaoron as he noticed only a single couch was occupying the room besides the gigantic TV set.  His eyes traveled around the chamber, studying every crook and cranny of the room with an unreadable expression on his handsome face.  He's never been in this room before, but he had heard Sakura rambled on and on about it plenty enough.

           Sakura.

           At the thought of her, Syaoron's eyes unconsciously landed on the floor where several video tapes were scattered carelessly, a box of Kleenex among them.  His eyes softened.  He suddenly wondered how many gloomy days and sleepless nights Tomoyo had spent in this room, slumped on the couch watching tape after tape of a 10-year-old card captor battling magical creatures while jumping from building to building, and killing more trees than she intended to.  The thought of Tomoyo crying her eyes out and going through an entire box of tissue each night left him even more remorseful at what he's about to do. 

Tomoyo, who probably saw him staring at the tapes giggled softly.

"I apologize for the mess Li-kun.  It seems that I have neglected to clean up this room this morning."

He looked at her smiling face, not at all fooled by her actions.  That's so like her to pretend nothing's wrong.  His heart goes out for his friend.  He sure knows how she feels, though somehow he had a distinct feeling that she's going through a whole lot more than he did with Yukito-san.  But it was too late to back down now.  Or maybe it wasn't, but he just didn't want to.  She needed to know, even if he hurt her again.  She deserved to know.  It was the least he can do for everything he has put her through.  This way, he figured, it would be a little less painful than have Sakura break the news to her, though he has a distinct feeling that Daidouji-san already knew about it.  He swears, that girl has a sixth sense or something. 

           He felt a delicate tap on the shoulder, breaking him out of reverie and making him turn and face Tomoyo.  Silently, she made her way across the room to the couch and Syaoron had no other choice but to follow wordlessly.  She quickly gathered the tapes that littered the floor and placed them in a cabinet where at least thirty or more V8 tapes were jammed in.  She sat down on the beige sofa, but he remained standing, a look of hesitation in his chocolate brown eyes that refused to meet hers.  After drawing a long, nervous breath, he took a sit beside her.  There was a long pause while Syaoron occupied himself at staring at his feet with Tomoyo sitting beside him in silence, waiting for him to make the initial move.  She's studying him; he could feel her eyes, her beautiful amethyst eyes, staring at him from head to foot with an inquisitive look.

           He liked her eyes.  Not as much as he loved Sakura's of course, but he liked them nonetheless.  There was warmth in those beautiful dark orbs when he first looked at her years ago.  This sort of friendly comfort enveloped him whenever he looked at her eyes.  It wasn't until months later that he actually started to appreciate them, now that he thought of it.  He dismissed them at first.  But those were the eyes that hid sympathy that she felt for him all those times he was down, for she knew perfectly well that he despised pity.  Those were the same eyes that looked at him with understanding when he confessed to her his love for her cousin and gave him all the courage he needed to come out of his shell and stop hiding from Sakura.  Those were the same eyes that were scrutinizing him at that moment and it made him feel more uneasy.

           But he didn't say a word.  He kept quiet in hopes that he wouldn't have to say anything but can still declare that he had at least tried to tell her (that way he wouldn't look too much like a coward).  He kept quiet, wishing that Daidouji will lose her patience, however unlikely that was, and walk out the door.  He kept quiet because he didn't know where to begin.  He kept quiet because he would rather die than witness Tomoyo's heart break a second time because of him.

           It was going to happen sooner or later, that much she knew.  She just didn't realize how soon.  Until tonight that is.  She, at first, wasn't certain what exactly Li-kun had in mind that's making him this giddy, but she knew it was something big.  It was the way he moved around restlessly from the second he stepped in the house earlier that day.  It was the guilt in his eyes when he saw the tapes scattered on the floor (she berated herself for not cleaning it up) that told her of what was to come.  It was in the way he sat there, hands clenched in a tight fist and looking anywhere but her that told her everything.  And it broke her heart knowing that the inevitable has come.  At long last.

           It wasn't as shocking to her when she finally got him all figured out, much to her surprise.  After all, she was anticipating for this day to come ever since the two got together.  A part of her was trying hard to be happy for Sakura, to have that light feeling in her heart at the thought of Syaoron's upcoming proposal to her best friend instead of the usual heavy feeling she always seemed to experience.  For once, she wanted to be glad for Sakura.  Just once.  But she couldn't, because the bigger part of her still hasn't let her go.  And it won't for a long time still.

           She had the urge to bolt it out of there, to get away from Syaoron, hoping that she got it all wrong and he was only having some trouble and was merely seeking friendly advice, but she knew it wasn't going to be that easy to escape the inevitable.  Or Syaoron for that matter.  He tends to be a bit stubborn and he will go through with it, she knew he will, whether he has her consent or not.  He simply wanted to inform her of it, and she had but one guess as to why he felt the need to do so.

           She suddenly had the desire to laugh.  Had it been someone else, she probably might've dismissed his poor attempts to get her approval and walk rudely out the door before he had uttered a word at edgewise (she wondered if that was how Touya reacted when he asked Sakura-chan's family for her hand in marriage), but this was Syaoron, the one person her Sakura-chan chose to love.  The one she fell in love with, and who loved her in return.

           Him.  Tomoyo's best guy friend.  Her rival.  Her downfall.  And Tomoyo couldn't just walk away.

           She closed her eyes in an effort to suppress the river of salty tears that had formed in her eyes and quickly brushed the couple of drops that had escaped, hoping that her companion did not perceived that tiny scene she had made.  Syaoron was guilty enough as it was without having her breaking down and crying.  The last thing he needed right now was more reason to make him feel even more contrite and responsible.  Putting on the bravest smile she could muster at her current condition, she gently placed her hands on top of his clenched fist, making him look directly at her, albeit unwillingly, for what seemed to be the first time that night.  She gave his hand a tender squeeze, realization was etched on her pretty face as she looked at him with that smile.  She understood what he's going to do and she wanted to show him that she approves of it.  Maybe not whole-heartedly, but she approves of it nonetheless, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

           Tomoyo could feel her smile waver and there was no doubt that Syaoron saw the pain hidden underneath that smile, for his guilt-ridden expression was replaced that of rueful.

           "Tomoyo-chan," his voice broke as he squeezed her hands back.  "I'm so-"

           "No, Li-kun," she quickly cut him off as tears threatened to spill once more.  "Please don't."

           Syaoron sniffled and he had to look away to conceal the tiny teardrop that made its way down his cheek.  Tomoyo made a move to brush it off.

           "Look at you!" she laughed, scolding him teasingly as she bent down and pulled a tissue from the dispenser and handing it to him.  "Whatever happened to the manly Xiao-Lang I used to know?"

           "He has become a crybaby apparently," he replied, taking the tissue that he was kindly offered.

           She giggled at his remark.  There was silence again, both unsure of what to say next.

           "It's fine Li-kun," Tomoyo decided to break the ice.  She paused.  "Really.  And you'll make Sakura-chan very happy."

If

           "And you Tomoyo-chan?" he asked after a moment.  "What about you?"

           She contemplated whether or not she should answer that with the same answer she had been giving him and the others for the last few years, but decided against it.  Syaoron would certainly not be satisfied with that.

           "I," she paused, "I'll learn.  I can only promise that I'll learn to be happy for the both of you, Li-kun."

           Syaoron nodded in understanding to which Tomoyo was grateful for.  At least he's content with her answer for now.  How long his satisfaction will last, she didn't know, but she supposed that doesn't really matter at the moment.  He stood up and the girl did the same.  He turned to Tomoyo and impulsively pulled her in a tight embrace that can rival that of Nakuru's.  She returned the action as they remained in that position for a few seconds before he spoke once again.  She buried her face in his shirt as his next words broke her brave façade.  There was a sort of finality to it that shattered her remaining self-control.  It was the only thing she could do to keep from bursting out.

           "Thank you Tomoyo-chan."

           She could only nod in reply.

           Eriol slowly let his eyes roam the room, looking for a certain dark-haired individual while Touya-san and Yukito-san carried on with their cheerful chatter (Nakuru was positively fuming now that Eriol made a mental note to remind himself to have a little chat with Nakuru about his half-son's relationship with Sakura-chan's moon guardian), Sakura joining in now and then with the conversation.  She doesn't seemed to be totally engrossed with the discussion the two were having, as far as the young magician can tell, and he's simply oblivious of it all.  Eriol caught a glimpse of his half-daughter at the corner of his eyes, a look of slight concern tainting those emerald orbs of hers.  Apparently he wasn't the only one who had noticed Tomoyo and XiaoLang's long absence.  Not that he's very much worried about his little descendant (however cruel that might've sounded), though he must admit that the discomfort in Syaoron's actions tonight, which conveyed the boy's desire to be anywhere but his current location, concerned him a little.  It seemed that Sakura had noticed it too for she kept giving Syaoron a worried glance earlier that evening.

           Eriol was even more worried about Tomoyo, however, which didn't surprise him at all.  He had come to that point in his life when he no longer finds it surprising to be so concerned about Daidouji-san (and this was even before the whole Winter Festival incident).  And why shouldn't he worry?  Especially now that she's finally starting to accept him into her life as being more than an old acquaintance or Hiiragizawa-kun, Clow's reincarnation.  He's her friend, her good friend now.  Her confidant.  And whatever his little descendant wanted to talk to her about is anything but good news, he was certain of it.  For Daidouji-san anyway.

           Perhaps he needed to pay a little visit to the rest room.  Quickly excusing himself from the others, he made for the exit, only to come face to face with none other than Syaoron himself, who looked slightly solemn, but nevertheless placid and quite relieved.  Eriol can only guess that Tomoyo had done her magic by the look descendant had.  Countless checking-ups, as he called it (Ruby Moon preferred the term "spying"), on the in the past gave him the knowledge that Tomoyo is the only other person who can calm down a perturbed Li-san besides Sakura.  And perhaps his mother too.  He instinctively moved his gaze behind the brown-eyed boy, expecting to see the girl, only to be met by an empty hallway.

           Syaoron undoubtedly saw the look cobalt eyes met air, for he simply told him in a low voice, "Don't."

           The single word informed him of everything and made the sorcerer even more anxious to find the girl.  He didn't show his keenness, however, as he merely looked at the other and plastered on a smile.  

           "Welcome back XiaoLang," he replied pleasantly.  "Please excuse me."

           And with that, he stepped out into the hallway, leaving Syaoron looking helpless and somewhat confused.

            He found her inside what he could only assume as her video room, seated in a crème colored sofa and staring at her hands.  Hands which were clenched together so tightly that her knuckles turned pale.  Paler than she already was, if that was even possible.  Eriol had to contemplate whether to leave her be or approach and try to comfort the girl.  He opted for the latter.

            He reached her side.  Slowly she turned to him, large purple eyes emotionless and dead that Eriol could barely look at her.  Yet he did, unflinchingly with, not pity, but understanding in his eyes.  Daidouji Tomoyo do hate being pitied after all, and Eriol dared not feel such for her sake. 

  Least not in front of her. 

            Not a word was said between them, although Eriol need not be informed of anything.  It was not necessary.  XiaoLang had been pretty restless (a dead giveaway) and Tomoyo, quite sloppy that evening it was ridiculous.  How long their staring contest lasted, neither knew, but it was she who first withdrew.  Eriol was awakened from his reverie.

            Unclenching her hands, the girl cleared her throat and stood up from her seat.  She turned to Eriol, a smile that did not quite reach her eyes graced her porcelain face.

            "In case I forget to tell you later," she started, "thank you for being here Hiiragizawa-kun."

            Eriol could not prevent the sympathy that reflected fleetingly on his eyes as she said this.  He watched as she bit her lower lip, slowly moved away from him, and started for the door.

            "Please don't," she whispered as she passed him and only then did he realize what had taken place.  He turned to her, ready to apologize, but she was already hurrying out the door and finally letting the unshed tears fall (though he did not exactly see this- rather he heard her quiet sniffles).

            Eriol was left thinking that perhaps he too was being sloppy.

AN: Yay!!!  Chapter 5 is done!  Hope you guys enjoyed it.  Umm… I'd like to explain why the characters' thoughts have wandered to all sorts of different subjects throughout this chapter (or maybe the whole fic).  I'm trying to have the characters have the same aspects as we do, you know, be more realistic and I merely wanted to show how people's musings lead to other things that are maybe related or not related to what they had been thinking previously.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  Or… maybe not.  Is it just me that does that then?  Lol.  Yeah, anyway that's all.  So sorry for any mistakes.  I tried my best proofreading.  I know, I know, my apologies are getting repetitive, but I just can't help it.  Lol.  My friend's always scolding me for saying sorry all the time sweatdrop.  Thank you so much for reading!!!

Bye and GOD Bless everyone!

hugz

JM

Came


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